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June 25, 2014
EPA Directive to EPA Employees: Serious You Guys, Stop Pooping on the Floor
Animal House.
It appears... that a regional [EPA] office has reached a new low: Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.
In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned "several incidents" in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and "an individual placing feces in the hallway" outside the restroom.
"Placing" them. Like he was moving around Hummel figurines to find the best positioning.
I would have said "depositing" them. It's classier.
Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management "consulted" with workplace violence "national expert" John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was "very dangerous" and the individuals responsible would "probably escalate" their actions.
At the EPA, shitting in the hallway is the baseline aberration from which one "escalates" further.