Sponsored Content
« Is "Civil Religion" Harmful to the Actual Church? | Main | Mitt Romney Threatens America: If Jeb Doesn't Run, I Will! »
April 28, 2014

Female Performance Artist Shocks the Art World By Staging Event That Doesn't Involve Her Vagina At All

Just kidding.

Of course it involves her vagina.

How could it not involve her vagina? Women are more than their genitals, and female performance artists prove this by only making art with their genitals.

You wouldn't understand, H8r.

Visitors to this week's Art Cologne fair were greeted with an unsightly sight: an attractive, naked women perched astride two ladders, squatting over a canvas. Swiss performance artist Milo Moiré was about to “birth” an abstract painting—by disgorging paint-filled eggs from her vagina.


According to Moiré, “PlopEgg Painting” is intended to evoke a “loose train of thoughts” about “the creation [of] fear, the symbolic strength of the casual and the creative power of femininity.” By plopping eggs. Out of her vagina.


Despite her clunky metaphors, Moiré, like most performance artists, must tell us the “meaning” of her work, lest the viewer misunderstand its seriousness.


Put obliquely by Moiré, “Within the context of art (performance), commerce (art fair) and opinion creation (media) a deliberate-accidental creation act happens, which instantly provokes ambivalent interpretations.”

There's an enormous dodge in the art world. It's the word "challenge." As in, "This artwork is intended to challenge the viewer's idea of what art is."

You hear this bullshit a lot. This Snootch-Painter suggested the idea in saying her intent was to "provoke[] ambivalent interpretations."

When you claim to merely be "challenging" someone's idea of what art is, you are, coincidentally enough, shielding yourself from critique based upon existing standards.

Hey, you're challenging those standards. Hence, they cannot be applied to you.

You can't be said to have failed any number of traditional criteria for evaluation of an art; your "challenge" to those criteria places you outside such booszhwah standards, above them.

And who's to say what a good vaginal-egg-paint painting would look like, anyway?

That's right-- You don't know, so just shut up.

It's just the happiest of all happy accidents that the most talentless would-be artists choose to "challenge" the conventional criteria for evaluating actual artistic talent.

In addition, merely "challenging" something is an exceedingly low-ambition threshold to clear, isn't it?

Some artists and writers set high standards in terms of what they intend to accomplish. For example, a writer might set out to disprove a proposition.

Imagine if that same writer set for his ambition merely the easy threshold of challenging something. All he has to do is ask a single rhetorical question and he wins -- he has accomplished his goal according to his own standard. He said he was only going to "challenge" an idea, and he does so, with a single piece of punctuation.

Right . . . ?

Bang! Donzo. Challenging, accomplished!

This is all obvious, of course, and it's obvious to anyone who stands outside the art world and who isn't thus financially invested in the proposition that this crap is preposterously easy to do (and hence unworthy of monetary reward) and foundationally stupid (and hence unworthy of commentary, much less praise!).

But this is art, for the moment, and by "the moment," I mean the last 40 years.

Oh: If you wish to see the "art" this stunt produced, here it is, though of course the resulting painting isn't the point.

Lot of red in there. And of course she folded it over to create a symmetry (like they do at Smear Some Paint activities at carnivals).

So she created a red vagina-looking thing.

How On the Nose.

People wanted to see her naked. Well here's another happy accident -- because she wants you to see her naked, too.

Okay, here is a Not Safe For Work video in which she boards a train, naked, with the word "Bra" written on her where her bra would be, etc.

She does look good naked. And gee, what a coincidence. Almost all of her "art" involves her being naked. Kind of playing right into her "artistic wheelhouse."

So again, Not Safe For Work, here she is naked on a train, in video form.

So like when your boss asks you "Why are you yanking your shank to pornography?" you can give him a sophisticated, rakish wink and reply, "I'm yanking my shank to A Happening."

digg this
posted by Ace at 06:12 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Jamaica NYC: "We will have foreign mercenaries for local cops ..."

Aetius451AD: "In the picture with Big Mike she looks nothing lik ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: "Everyone is stupid somewhere. --------- In my ..."

AlaBAMA : "Bear witness!! To my road rash. ..."

Knock gp A Kiss: ""Scientists at La Jolla Institute for Immunology ( ..."

Aetius451AD: "Fixed now. ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: "Last week a Canadian dr. pushed that strokes were ..."

[/i] [/s] [/u] [/b]An Observation sez China Joe not my president: "[i] That also means they can't do the Hokey Pokey ..."

Aetius451AD: "Nood. ..."

Archer: "Parents are either pressured to abort, or in some ..."

Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead!: "I see Newsome is starting to appeal for the Horde' ..."

Aetius451AD: "That front page is girthy, Lam- I mean ace. ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64