Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries
Monday Overnight Open Thread (12/2/24) - Doof
A Case of the Mondays Cafe Congressional Report: "Scientists" At Heart of Creating Covid-19 In Wuhan Decieved Congress, May Face Prosecution Quick Hits Leftwing UK PM Keir Starmer: Damn These Conservatives For Unleashing This Dangerous Uncontrolled Mass Immigration On Us! Trump Nominates Revealer of the Russiagate Psyop Kash Patel to be New Director of the FBI Dave Reaboi: Why Did the Left Tell Antifa To Stand Down After Trump's Victory? "Showbiz Source:" George Clooney "Fuming" That Barack Obama "Manipulated" Him Into Calling for Biden's Ouster So That Our First Homosexual President Could Keep His Hands Clean Demented Liar Joe Biden Pardons His Spree Criminal Son After Years of Vowing He Would Never Do So Because He Trusts the Judiciary and Wants to Uphold Norms THE MORNING RANT – Periodic Roundup of the EV Follies [12/02/2024] Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Open Thread (reserved for politics) [CBD] |
Main
| Gun Thread (4-20-2014) »
April 20, 2014
Food Thread: Baking: It's Not Science....It's Magic [CBD]We Politely Request That All Off-Topic or Political Comments Be Directed to the Thread Directly Below This One, Which Will Serve Officially as the Current "Active Conversation" Thread for All Discussions Not Related To This Topic. The conventional wisdom is that cooking is an art and baking is a science -- requiring precision and consistency and rigid attention to detail. And if you satisfy those requirements you will be rewarded with marvelous crusty breads and glorious cakes and you will be the marvel of the neighborhood. It's a dirty filthy stinking lie, perpetrated by an unholy cabal of flour mills and sugar barons and the natural gas industry. Any variation in humidity, temperature, density of flour, potency of yeast, and dozens of other things can, and often does make a huge difference in the final product. That's why accomplished bakers will add extra water, or a pinch less of yeast or salt, or knead it for a few more minutes or let it proof at a warmer temperature for just a few minutes less..... And why is that? How do they know? Because they made a pact with the devil. In return for baking those scrumptious, yeasty sourdough loaves and incredible dinner rolls that are just perfect with the sauce and a dab of good butter, they will toil in the third circle of hell for eternity. And what makes me think of glorious baked goods and the soulless monsters who bake them? Passover. And the extremely crappy matzoh I bought. I usually buy an Israeli brand that is actually rather good, but I couldn't find any this year, so I settled for something baked in the People's Republic of New York City. In the hipster heaven of Brooklyn no less. Awful. Redolent of cardboard. So of course I stole a box from my parents, but still, Passover is eight days long, and nowhere in the story does one box of matzoh last for eight days. But how tough could baking matzoh be? There is no yeast, there is no rise, there is nothing but a mandated 18 minute maximum time for the entire process. Yet somehow bakers manage to screw it up. So I tried. And guess what? it is easy, fun, and makes great matzoh! I used a pizza stone, which I think is much better than the recommended bottom of a sheet pan. But other than that...I just followed the recipe -- sort of -- and the results are much better than any commercial stuff I have ever had. (If anyone wants the modified recipe, e-mail me at nynjmeet at optimum dot net.) This baguette recipe is modified from the King Arthur Flour recipe I found on their web site. The original did not yield a particularly lofty or airy bread; it was too dense to be called a baguette. So I changed it to a longer, colder rise, and that worked well. Starter Dough Directions If you're using active dry yeast, mix it with the water, then combine with the starter, flour, and salt. If you're using instant yeast, there's no need to combine it with the water first. Mix and knead everything together—by hand, mixer or bread machine set on the dough cycle—till you've made a soft, somewhat smooth dough; it should be cohesive, but the surface may still be a bit rough. Knead for about 5 minutes on speed 2 of a stand mixer Place the dough in a lightly greased medium-size bowl, cover the bowl, and let the dough rise for one hour. Turn the dough out onto a lightly greased work surface. Divide it into three equal pieces. Shape each piece into a rough, slightly flattened oval, cover with greased plastic wrap, and let them rest for 15 minutes. Working with one piece of dough at a time, fold the dough in half lengthwise, and seal the edges with the heel of your hand. Flatten it slightly, and fold and seal again. With the seam-side down, cup your fingers and gently roll the dough into a 15" log. Place the logs seam-side down onto a lightly greased or parchment-lined sheet pan. Cover them with a cover or lightly greased plastic wrap, place in the refrigerator, and allow the loaves to rise overnight till they've become very puffy. Remove from refrigerator at least two hours before baking to complete the rise. Towards the end of the rising time, preheat your oven to 450°F. Using a very sharp knife held at about a 45° angle, make three 8" vertical slashes in each baguette. Spritz the baguettes heavily with warm water; this will help them develop a crackly-crisp crust. Bake the baguettes until they're a very deep golden brown, 25 to 30 minutes. Remove them from the oven and cool on a rack. Or, for the very crispiest baguettes, turn off the oven, crack it open about 2", and allow the baguettes to cool in the oven. Yield: Three 16" baguettes. | Recent Comments
Piper:
"333
Used to be a sign on I-68 but they took it d ..."
[/i][/i][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor[/i][/i][/b][/b]: "[i]New cars help me save money cause they don't ma ..." Doof: "[i]In Maryland, there is still a Negro Mountain. F ..." azjaeger: "And the forthcoming Charger has batteries and supp ..." Emmie : "Sebastian Melmoth -- Ivermectin source: htt ..." [/i][/i][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor[/i][/i][/b][/b]: "Saw Moscow on the Hudson in the theater. It was o ..." Sebastian Melmoth: "Reminded myself of a movie I remember really likin ..." Zombie Johnny Mathis: "Doof! ..." Alberta Oil Peon: "Well, time to go make something for supper. ..." Don in SoCo: " Looking for actual information on internet is get ..." [/i][/i][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor[/i][/i][/b][/b]: "LOL jaGUar's new pinkmobile has no rear windows, o ..." Sebastian Melmoth: "Russia probably had the most circuses of any count ..." Recent Entries
Monday Overnight Open Thread (12/2/24) - Doof
A Case of the Mondays Cafe Congressional Report: "Scientists" At Heart of Creating Covid-19 In Wuhan Decieved Congress, May Face Prosecution Quick Hits Leftwing UK PM Keir Starmer: Damn These Conservatives For Unleashing This Dangerous Uncontrolled Mass Immigration On Us! Trump Nominates Revealer of the Russiagate Psyop Kash Patel to be New Director of the FBI Dave Reaboi: Why Did the Left Tell Antifa To Stand Down After Trump's Victory? "Showbiz Source:" George Clooney "Fuming" That Barack Obama "Manipulated" Him Into Calling for Biden's Ouster So That Our First Homosexual President Could Keep His Hands Clean Demented Liar Joe Biden Pardons His Spree Criminal Son After Years of Vowing He Would Never Do So Because He Trusts the Judiciary and Wants to Uphold Norms THE MORNING RANT – Periodic Roundup of the EV Follies [12/02/2024] Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |