Overnight Open Thread (4-14-2014)

How to Survive the Blood Moooon!!!

Potential Blood Moon-Related Incidents You May Observe

Blood Moons are a time when the walls between Neverywhen and Howsitwaz break down. Werewolf cubs may fall randomly from the mirror in your bathroom, and small bats may lodge themselves in the hollow spaces of those soup bowls made from sourdough bread. Turn all mirrors to face the wall and make sure to finsh your soup before sundown. Leave no leftovers! Not even for breadcrumbs later in the week!

Don't Take It Personally

Remember: the Blood Moon is not here for you. The Blood Moon is migratory and is only hoping to continue on its way to Australia. If a Blood Moon enters your home or reflecting pool it has done so by mistake, and it probably trying to leave again. Do not get between it and the horizon and you will likely not be considered a threat. Best of luck!

Does Tuesday's 'blood' eclipse signal the End Times?

Short answer: No not THE End Times. Just a short reign of inter-dimensional perfusion and associated mayhem and Ur-forces that travel along with the Blood Moon.

You can watch the carnage live here.

Meanwhile this is how the government-media complex is attempting to cover up tonight's events. It's all some kind of space planet shadow thingy. Yeah that totally explains the blood and sudden dark urges.

Sylvia Mathews Burwell Proved Her Loyalty by Digging Through Vince Foster's Trash

On the night his body was discovered. Exactly the loyal apparatchik you want running ObamaCare if say you wouldn't be opposed to seeing certain opponents' medical records mysteriously get leaked to the press.

Under questioning, Sylvia Mathews and her colleagues denied impeding a police investigation into Foster's death after his body was found in a northern Virginia park. According to the New York Times, Mathews testified "in laborious detail about what she had found in Mr. Foster's garbage on the night he died."

Media to Soon Rediscover GOP State Legislators

The "GOP Lawmaker" Principle: Why You See So Many Articles About Random Right-Wing Politicians. "As the national electoral plight of Democrats increases, so does the incidence of stories about obscure state Republican lawmakers." While stories about Dems get buried.

Because, you know, the press is largely made up of Democratic operatives with bylines.

The Great Gun Company Migration

All moving south. Where the business environment is friendlier and they're not despised and reviled by elected officials.

Muslim Politicians In India: We Should Hang Rape Victims, Not So Much The Rapists

Samajwadi Party leader Abu Azmi made a more controversial statement than his boss Mulayam Singh Yadav by saying woman who has sex outside marriage should be hanged, including rape victims.

Azmi said, "Rape is punishable by hanging in Islam. But here, nothing happens to women, only to men. Even the woman is guilty." [...]

Azmi said that the final solution to rape is that if any girl, whether married or unmarried, goes with a guy with or without her consent, they should be hanged.

Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh made an explosive statement that it was unfair to award death penalty to rapists for their 'mistakes'"Boys make mistakes, why hang them for Rape?"

May I point out that this is what a real rape culture looks and sounds like.

It's Tough Being a Feminist Sex Worker

And that's just from all the mental contortions.

Anti-Vaxer Jenny McCarthy Declares "I Am Not Anti-Vaccine"

Something else McCarthy omitted from her interview with Kluger: 'I do believe sadly it's going to take some diseases coming back to realize that we need to change and develop vaccines that are safe,' said McCarthy. 'If the vaccine companies are not listening to us, it's their f*cking fault that the diseases are coming back. They're making a product that's sh*t. If you give us a safe vaccine, we'll use it. It shouldn't be polio versus autism.'

"And now my kids don't die."

Earlier this year, an intentionally unvaccinated 17-year-old from Brooklyn, New York, was infected with measles while on a trip to the United Kingdom. Because he lived in a community with a large number of other deliberately unvaccinated children, the virus quickly spread. By the time the outbreak was contained, 58 people had been infected -- making it the largest outbreak in the country in more than 15 years. Nationwide, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 159 total cases between January and August, which puts 2013 on track to record the most domestic measles infections since the disease was declared eliminated from the United States in 2000.

Polio Finally Eliminated in India

In 1988 there were over 200,000 cases of polio in India but for the last three years there have been zero new cases of polio. Since the virus can only survive in humans, once the last infection is stopped it's gone forever.

The development of the Salk and Sabine vaccines helped lead to eradication of polio in the United States in 1979. In India, too, vaccination was critical.

"There were three keys to our success," Kapur says. "Immunize, immunize and immunize."

Well It Seems Like Alvin Holmes (D) (AL - Montgomery) Owes Somebody $100,000

And an apology.

State representative Alvin Holmes (D) Montgomery, said republican lawmakers would support abortion if their daughters became pregnant by black men. Holmes later said he would offer $100,000 cash to anyone who could show "a whole bunch of whites" have adopted black children in Alabama.

Missouri Will Use 'Sound Cannons' Against Speeders

Apparently the threat of a costly ticket isn't enough to slow down drivers passing through work zones on Missouri's highways, so the state is taking extreme measures to solve the dilemma. Missouri's Department of Transportation is preparing to deploy the LRAD sound cannon - a tool (some might say "weapon" ) that's been used to break up mass gatherings like Occupy Wall Street - to warn motorists that they're going too fast. The device emits a targeted, deafening siren that "easily penetrates the windshield and well-insulated cab of a car, even overriding the vehicle's engine sounds and a radio turned up loud enough to jam to tunes at highway speeds."

Okay after reading the articles and comments this isn't as outrageous as it sounds. It's only for work zones and mainly meant to get the attention of oblivious drivers who speed through while there are people working adjacent to the lane.

Customer Service FAIL

Not even gonna link it here. Just google "us airways twitter account complaining customer nsfw". Warning: NSFW and NSFAOSHQ. ---><-Beyond this point it's all on you.

Lindsay Lohan: Still a Mess

Well if she showed up 8 hours late to her own funeral, it would be an actual improvement.

Yes This Exists

Too bad it's not open to the public since it would make an awesome location for a west coast moron meetup. (Thanks to the Chip)

The Yahoo AoSHQ group. Bla bla bla.

And my twitter thang.

Tonight's post brought to you by just get the goddamn haircut:

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posted by Maetenloch at 10:18 PM

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