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March 29, 2014
"Goat Simulator:" Game Hailed By Its Maker as "World's Dumbest Game" Will Put You Behind the Controls of a... Goat
You've long had the fantasy of piloting a goat, right?
Sure. Who hasn't.
Well April Fools Day is your lucky day then.
"Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to you," Coffee Stain Studios writes. "You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true!"
They also call it a "stupid, small, broken game," and brag that the game has "millions" of bugs and glitches in it, but they're leaving them in anyway, to enhance the Goat Simulation, or whatever. (They say they'll fix the game-breaking glitches but the rest will stay in.)
What might you do as a goat? Well, you do the same thing as you do in every other game: You move around, destroy objects and vehicles, and kill people. (Though the creator says the inert bodies you leave behind are merely "sleeping.") The goat headbutts things until they explode, the explosion sometimes launching him into flight, and you set people on fire by headbutting barbecues into them.
Then you go to the town's zero-g simulator because, well, of course it has one.
You can also carry around heavy objects by licking them with your tongue. Because your tongue sticks to them, and then you can carry things around and kill people with them.
The way goats do.
Below, the official launch video for what people are calling (in a Sharknado-like way) "the greatest video game ever made."
And here's some gameplay with the Goat Simulator, with simultaneous interview of the creator. At 4:23, the creator shows off the "Tall Goat" mode, which is worth watching.
You can throw ten dollars away here, if you gotta get your goat on.