Fascinating, Revealing Article on What It's Really Like at Guantanamo Bay... From Cracked

As @slublog says, Cracked's reportage is more fair, more filled with detail, and more professional-seeming and accurate-sounding than anything in the allegedly "mainstream" media.

Read the whole thing. Here is an excerpt on the biological warfare some of the detainees resort to:

Some of [the prisoners] wanted revenge. For instance, every door has a slot that opens. You hand in their Motrin, they grab your hand and drop down -- boom, broken arm. And then there are the ones who will intentionally infect you.

These guys come from across the world to Cuba, loaded with foreign pathogens while simultaneously vulnerable to all of our gross shit. So already it was mutual, unconscious biological warfare (they had a distinct edge, because the Taliban apparently agrees with Jenny McCarthy on vaccines). These dudes wind up with tuberculosis, dysentery, hepatitis ... all kinds of terrible bugs, which means you don't want to exchange bodily fluids with them. But that's not so simple, because the inmates know this is what you're afraid of.

See, they know they're loaded with sicknesses we don't have, so a lot of times they'll try to cough on you. Those are the lucky times. The unlucky times involve what we call a cocktail: semen, blood, urine, and feces in a cup that they throw on you. We had one guy get cocktailed, and speculation on what he did ranged from "he insulted Islam" to, literally, "he made fun of a detainee's mom." Whatever happened, the detainees straight up told us, "Every time this guy comes back, we're going to make your life hell."

So we removed him. Nobody wanted to deal with cleaning that up every day.

The guy seems liberal in politics (he thinks Guantanamo should, in theory, be closed, though he has no idea what you'd do with these characters if you closed it) but harbors an animosity for reporters who have an "erection" to report any claim of abuse at the prison. He notes how the media went wild reporting that Guantanamo guards denied the poor prisoners bottled water -- but failed to report they had all the water they wanted, just not bottled water, because they would fill the bottles with sand to turn an ordinary water bottle into a club or heavy missile.

posted by Ace at 10:35 AM

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