Overnight Open Thread -- Valentine's Day 2014

Well, 'Rons n' 'Ettes, it's your friendly neighborhood Damn Dirty RINO again. I'm filling in for CDR M tonight since he came up with some cockamamie excuse about "defending the nation" or something. I don't know. But, inasmuch as he has friends who could "accidentally" drop an explosive payload on me from thousands of feet in the air at any time, I figured I ought to go ahead and do tonight's ONT. I may be lazy, but I'm not stupid.

Like everyone else, Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday of the year. It's the one holiday that seems immune to corporate exploitation, steeped as it is in Judeo-Christian tradition. And, as anyone who knows me will readily tell you, I'm all about that old-time religion. Sadly, contemporary culture seems bent on rejecting the ancient teachings of the Bible that have helped to sustain mankind for thousands of years -- particularly the verse in Peruvians 8:42, which tells us, "Honor thine life partner with baubles and sweets and flowers and cards and lavish meals and sparkling wine. Bedeck her in splendorous, yet scant garments that she may wear but once and cast aside never to be seen again. For, should thou forsake such worshipful genuflection, thine ears shall ring with vituperative hectoring forevermore."

It's through such generous gift-giving and ritual pleading for physical reciprocation that we come to know true love. Unfortunately, many of us never become truly acquainted with the incomparable joy that comes from love in its most transactional form. Instead, we waste years and years fooling ourselves into thinking that true love can be achieved through mutual admiration, respect and personal sacrifice. And then one day, we suddenly wake up and discover that we've wasted immense effort and emotion on an illusion only to find ourselves navigating a cold, cruel world alone.

Now, obviously, there are some personal relationships that just don't develop into anything more than friendship in spite of our best efforts. Sometimes, you can do everything right, and with the very best of heartfelt intentions, but still find yourself in what has come to be known as the Friend Zone. It can be painful and humiliating, and may even cause you to question the wisdom of following the path that leads to true love.

Yes, it's unfortunate and hurtful. But, you can't allow yourself to grow discouraged. If you can't make the object of your desires fall in love with you despite your most exorbitant investment, then it simply wasn't meant to be. The right person is out there for you; you just have to maintain faith that your paths will cross at some point down life's twisting, treacherous roads. The fact is, we all have a soul mate. But, for some of us, finding him or her requires more patience and perseverance -- and perhaps a lowering of standards and expectations.

And, if you are sufficiently persistent and generous to the person whose affections you're seeking, but that person still can't be cajoled into reciprocation, it may very well be that you need to engage in some serious introspection. It could simply be that you're not assertive enough. It's amazing how many people go through life laboring under the misapprehension that mere kindness and tenderness toward the people they love will somehow bring them around. As noted singer-songwriter Patty Smyth pointed out back in the 1980's, "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough," and you have to instill fear into their hearts. After all, if someone doesn't respect you, how can they ever come to love you?

One of the saddest aspects of living in the modern world is that we have allowed ourselves to become convinced that simple love has the power to "conquer all" and "move mountains". And it's because of that silly notion that people become dejected and give up hope for finding that one person with whom they can share a full and happy life. But, as someone who has fallen prey to such fantastical ideas, let me assure you that this is not the case. There are innumerable challenges and obstacles against which romantic love is of absolutely no use.

No, the only way to ensure a long-lasting and fulfilling adult relationship is to express your deepest feelings for the person with whom you wish to share your life by appealing to their base appetites.

But, there's a caveat. You see, if you make only explicit overtures toward a person's base drives, they begin to feel objectified. They don't feel loved for who they are as a person, but merely desired as an object of sexual conquest. This has a way of leaving people feeling somewhat dehumanized. So, when making such gestures in the hopes of building a lasting relationship based on deeply felt emotional ties, you have to make sure to adorn it with the soft, superficial treacle of hearts and kittens.

On the other hand, if all you seek is pure carnal indulgence, a wink, a smile, and a generous display of flesh will do the trick nearly every time. And if that's what you're looking for on this most sacred of holidays, well, I suppose you could do a lot worse.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Soft n' Snuggly Sweater Puppies:

ADDENDUM: rdbrewer sent this over the transom shortly after I finished, so I figured I'd toss it in for those of you who may find it as interesting as I did. It's the Presidential Personality Quiz. My results said my personality most favored that of Lincoln.

posted by Damn Dirty RINO at 10:04 PM

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