Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
ę UCLA Professor: If You Have a "Jewish-Sounding Name," You Should Write to Your Senators to Demand We Relieve Iran of Economic Sanctions | Main | Despite Agency Denials, Emails Show EPA Coordinated With Left-Wing Political Groups to Pressure Energy Companies;
EPA Head Dodges Questions Ľ
January 16, 2014

Breaking: America Breathes In Relief as Philadelphia Swiss-Cheese Pervert Arrested

His alibi had holes in it.

You know, we haven't really discussed this. But My Lord, look at this monster. This is legitimately frightening.


Imagine if that Handsome Devil slowed his car beside you and asked you to watch him as he pleasured himself with some Alpine Lace. Holey strokes, that's scary.


Philadelphia police served Christopher Pagano, 41, with a warrant at his Norristown home, according to officials with the Norristown Police Department....

The Daily News on Monday reported the case extended beyond Mayfair, quoting a message the suspect allegedly sent a Bridesburg woman through dating website OkCupid. "I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more," the message read. "That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls."

The paper on Thursday reported more readers had stepped forward to share similar tales and that several women were cooperating with the investigation. It is not yet clear how many incidents Pagano is being charged in connection with or exactly what charges he faces.

What do you charge him with? How about three counts of Being My Fucking Hero, that's what you charge him with.

Thanks to not_steve_in_hb.

Oh, and let me close this tab: some stuff you might not know about the custom of the "555" fake phone numbers you see on tv and in movies.

Here's what I found interesting: They're not all fake.

So we keep using them?


What you may not know, though, is that there are many more ďrealĒ 555 phone numbers. Since 1994, 555 numbers have actually been available for personal or business use. Thatís when the North American Numbering Plan Administration started taking applications from people and businesses who wanted their own 555 numbers. Theoretically, these numbers would have worked from anywhere in the continent; dialers would be able to dial 555-XXXX and always end up with the same number regardless of area code. The hope was that if you needed, say, a taxi anywhere in the country, you could just remember one number that would always work.

Things didnít work out quite so smoothly. People and businesses snapped up the 555 numbers óexcept for 555-0100 through 555-0199, which were held back for fictional useóbut they soon learned that owning a phone number isnít all that useful if you donít also own a phone company that can connect the number. Phone companies protested that setting up these services would be wildly expensive; in 2003 Verizon told The New York Times that adding the nationwide 555 service to its systems would cost the company $108 million. (Verizon did offer to hook up the 555 numbers for owners, but the same Times story noted that the service usually required a $2,500 set-up fee per area code.)

digg this
posted by Ace at 05:55 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Hillarrhoids: "one piece or bikini ..... Bikini Depends ..."

bluebell: "Can't get it where I live. You're a mean man. ..."

Skip: "T-storm heading south south east through Chester C ..."

Grump928©: "[i]Ghislaine Maxwell, the onetime girlfriend and a ..."

DB- just DB: ">She's a US Marshall. You think I was gonna ..."

Count de Monet: "Can't get it where I live. You're a mean man. ..."

demoncrat : "Washington Paleskins. ..."

Andrew Dice Clay: "Though I don't know if it was based on principle o ..."

Jean Parisot: "This virus got loose because of a failure in a BL4 ..."

garrett: ">>You think I was gonna get caught snapping pics f ..."

Rick in SK: "sex is like oxygen it doesn't matter unless you ..."

JC. Idaho bot.: "and I thought this was a 'Smart Military Blog'. ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64