Ten Years of Nonsense: The "Hello"/Pat O'Brien Sex Voicemail Mash-Up

Originally Published April 1, 2005.

If you've forgotten this bit, Pat O'Brien left a series of sexually explicit voicemails on the phone of a woman he was trying to arrange a tryst with. Among his various suggestions for a fun night out were getting coke, getting whores, and having a menage à trois with his girlfriend Molly.

Frequently he advised his would-be paramour: "You have to pretend to be into Molly." Because, Gentleman.

The voicemails can be heard on YouTube -- but note the Content Warning.

This all led to a lot of fun on the site, including commenters' doing Pat O'Brien haikus. (How come we don't do haikus anymore? Hm, we need to start doing haikus again.)

I'd like that stuff but it's very very dirty and I try not to swear so much anymore. If you go searching for Pat O'Brien stuff, don't comment on those years-old threads, because the system will deem that to be spam and ban you.

The one thing I'll link, because no dirty words will wind up appearing in this post, is AllahPundit's mash-up of Lionel Ritchie's sappy Hello with Pat O'Brien's more forward-leaning greetings. Again, Content Warning.

There's actually an ending to this tale that I forgot-- Pat O'Brien pretended to be into Molly by proposing to her. I guess they're married now.

At the time, I guessed that O'Brien's wedding vows would be:

I, Pat O'Brien, take thee, Molly, as my lawfully wedded wife; to have and to hold; to just go craaaaazy on you; to love and to cherish; to get some hookers and some coke; to honor and obey; we can have any of these whores; I don't know why I'm acting like this; I'm so into you, let's do it, let's have some sex.

posted by Ace at 06:42 PM

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