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January 02, 2014

Ten Years of Nonsense: The X and Y But Mostly Y Joke

This was a frequent joke from 2007 to 2010. It still comes up occasionally.

Mostly it was used with terrorists' deaths. I think this was the first one, or at least it's what a search turns up as the first "But Mostly" headline, from August 2nd, 2007:

Sad: Glasgow Bomber/Self-Immolator Dies Of Heart-Ache and Burns, But Mostly Burns

A few of the headline gags below, starting with the early ones, and then skipping around for the better ones. I stopped the joke because, well. I ran out of new things to say after ten repetitions.

But that didn't stop me. That never stops me.

Remember, a MacGuffin is the thing the hero wants but that the audience doesn't really care about...

Don't comment on the old posts themselves, or you'll get banned as spam.

August 3rd, 2007:

Poignant: Mosul AQ Leader Dies of Heart-Ache And Gunshot Wounds, But Mostly Gunshot Wounds

November 11th, 2007:

Fleeing Robbery Suspect Victim of Society And Hungry Alligator, But Mostly Hungry Alligator

He really was attacked by an alligator.

December 19th, 2007:

Afghan Sniper Dies Due To Lack of Quality Health Insurance and 500 Pound Airburst Bomb, But Mostly 500 Pound Airburst Bomb

February 11th, 2008:

Some Al Qaeda Leaders In Iraq Leaders Running For Breast Cancer Awareness and Their Lives, But Mostly For Their Lives

March 6th, 2008:

Claim: Muqtada al Sadr Suffers Ten Game Batting Slump and Coma, But Mostly Coma

March 16th, 2008:

16 Terrorists in Pakistan Safe House Die from Missile Strike and Deep Confusion over Meaning of the Word "Safe", but Mostly Missile Strike

The cobs did the joke a lot too. Here's DrewM, May 28th, 2008:

Insurgent Killed By Loud Banging Noises And 30mm Rounds But Mostly, Well, They Are Kind Of Related

June 24th, 2008:

US Troops Reduce "Carbon Footprint" of 55 Taliban and Three "Key" Leaders to Zero By Providing Them with Solar-Electric Cars and Precision-Guided Death, But Mostly Precision-Guided Death

July 2nd, 2008:

33 Afghan "Rebels" Suffer Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Also Post-Traumatic Death Disorder, But Mostly Post-Traumatic Death Disorder

Here's Dave in Texas from October 27th, 2008:

U.S. Official Confirms - Senior Al Qaeda Leader Killed in Syria by Special Operations Forces, That Awful "Puffy, Crampy" Feeling, But Mostly Special Operations Forces

November 29, 2008:

Taliban Commander Killed by Cross-Dressing Mishap and US Fighters, But Mostly... Well, a Bit of Both, Really

Yeah I think his burka had a wardrobe malfunction. US troops were questioning women they found in a terrorist house and realized, as they were talking to this "woman," that he was a dude.

He tried to escape dressed in the traditional Courageous Muslim Warrior garb, a woman's burka.

The Carmen Miranda fruit-hat was a bad choice of accessory. Sure, it showed off his hazel eyes, but at what cost?

Then something wonderful happened: he was killed.

And May 2, 2010:

Osama Bin Ladin Loses Popularity and 30cc of Brain and Skull But Mostly 30cc of Brain and Skull

As you can see, the joke sort of gets repetitive.

This isn't much of a post, so I'll link some actual news. Via Weasel Zippers:

A Dozen Iraqi Jihadis Die of Type II Diabetes and Also Type II Shrapnel In The Face But Mostly Type II Shrapnel In the Face

digg this
posted by Ace at 04:31 PM

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