FAQ: If I, As a Good Jihadi, Wish to Smuggle Explosives In My Anus, Is It Permissible To Allow Other Jihadis to Sodomize Me Until My Anus Has Become Wider and More Suitable for Smuggling?

Indeed! Not only is it permitted, it is encouraged.

This is actually an old story, dating from at least July of 2012. But I guess it's getting some new attention this slow-news week.

I don't know what exactly @benk84 was trying to find when this sexy little tidbit showed up in his search returns, and I'm not sure I want to. Let's just say it was a happy little accident.

This reminds me of a joke.

A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear, armed with a rifle. He finds some bear tracks and follows them around a copse of trees. But he's suddenly alarmed to realize the bear has doubled-back, and is behind him. He spins around to shoot the bear but the bear pounces upon him.

The bear throws him to the ground, tears his pants off, and f***s him up the a**.

The hunter leaves the forest, humiliated, confused. He resolves that this bear who violated him shall not live. He buys not one but ten bear traps, and sets out into the woods again. He lays each trap carefully, baiting each with a full salmon.

As he's laying the last salmon on the last trap, he catches a scent he's smelled before -- the bear has silently stalked him, and is now directly behind him.

The man whirls about, but it is too late. The bear swats him to the ground, turns him over, tears his pants off, and f***s him up the ass.

Once again the man staggers out of the forest, ashamed and angry. The bear has not merely defeated him; the bear has stolen his masculine honor for him.

He goes to an Army-Navy store and purchases a dozen grenades. He special-orders a high-caliber rifle with a laser-targeting system. Thus armed, he sets out into the woods again.

Slowly he stalks the forest, his boots crunching lightly in the snow. In the distance, he hears a large bear howling. He rushes towards the sound.

Before him is an icy creek, cold and deep. Bear tracks lead up to the creek -- perhaps the bear crossed the water here. The hunter steps into the frigid water in his hip-wader boots and begins to ford the stream.

Suddenly the bear bursts out of the creek, slaps him three times in the face with his paws, heaves him to the shore like he was a toy, and strips the pants from his ass with his claws.

The hunter grits his teeth as the bear is about to assault him. Suddenly the bear stops, and whispers seductively in his ear, "How long must we play this little game of ours, darling?"

posted by Ace at 03:20 PM

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