Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















Rubio's Name Booed at Immigration Rally | Main | House Votes Down Pork-Filled Senate Version of Farm Bill
June 20, 2013

Stolen Valor: Cap'n Crunch

A commenter was tired of the amnesty posts and suggested one about The Monster Cap'n Crunch.

This man (I use the term in a biological sense only) claims to be a captain -- or should I say, "Cap'n." yet:

Three stripes. Three stripes, not four.

The Navy has further exposed him:

" 'You are correct that Cap'n Crunch appears to be wearing the rank of a U.S. Navy commander,' Lt. Cmdr. Sarah Flaherty, a U.S. Navy spokeswoman, tells Foreign Policy. 'Oddly, our personnel records do not show a "Cap'n Crunch" who currently serves or has served in the Navy.' "

Here is how The Liar attempts to defend himself, on Twitter:

"So much fuss about my name. O, be some other name. What's in a name? That which we call Cap'n Crunch, by any other name would taste as sweet"

I passed on this story because I wasn't sure of the details, and I did not want to malign a service-member unduly.

I also passed on it because I thought that "Captain" is both a rank and a position. By which I mean, if you're the skipper of a boat, you're addressed as "captain" by your crew even if your actual rank is commander (or lower-- even a seaman can be a captain, I think, if pushed into that position by the deaths of ranking officers).

So it would not matter (if I'm right about this) that he's only a Commander; if he skippers his own boat, then he's also a Captain, at least on that boat.

Because "Captain" is an important position in addition to being a rank, the Navy has made up a different title, "Commodore," for those persons on board a ship who may have the rank of Captain but who are not actually captains of the ship they're on. It's important to know who the actual captain is, so if there's another captain aboard (or, I think, a technically higher-ranking officer like an admiral who is not, despite his higher rank, actually the captain of the ship), he gets called Commodore and not captain.

That's what I thought, anyway. So perhaps we're all rushing to judgment on this Cap'n Crunch affair. I don't know why he's not listed in the Navy's records but it's possible "Crunch" is a nickname, maybe given to him to emphasize his diligent work-habits and razor-cut abs, or perhaps given derogatorily by his men due to his erratic, obsessive behavior when a couple of messboys stole some Crunchberries from the ship's stocks.

Pushback: I see various definitions of "Commodore" in the comments (which might actually all be the same definition). I think I'm wrong (even though I got my definition from two unimpeachable sources -- Star Trek and Starship Troopers).

Wikipedia says...

Traditionally, "commodore" is the title for any officer assigned to command more than one ship at a time, even temporarily, much as "captain" is the traditional title for the commanding officer of a single ship even if the officer's official title in the service is a lower rank. As an official rank, a commodore typically commands a flotilla or squadron of ships as part of a larger task force or naval fleet commanded by an admiral.

It is often regarded as a one-star rank with a NATO code of OF-6 (which is known in the U.S. as "rear admiral (lower half)"), but whether it is regarded as a flag rank varies between countries.[1]

I can't find any citation to back up my belief that "commodore" serves as a rank of convenience to avoid a Two Captains on One Ship problem. Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering.


digg this
posted by Ace at 01:10 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i] Yep. Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at D ..."

Anna Puma: "Jesus is the First Adventurer because He respawned ..."

Aetius451AD Work Laptop: "134 And isn't Spotify the one that gave Joe Rogan ..."

Karavan : "Spirit in the Sky Posted by: Norman Greenbaum ..."

Aetius451AD Work Laptop: "Not snarking...what exactly is Spotify? Posted by ..."

Zombie, yet alive, Jesus: "Try a neti pot, sudafed and Vicks vapo rub on the ..."

thatcrazyjerseyguy now with twice the crazy. : "Chevrolet: favorite of Alzheimer's victims everywh ..."

18-1: "[i]The Atlantic: “Inflation is Your Fault ..."

Anna Puma: "Gruenwald? Is there an accompanying Brunwald? I ..."

RedMindBlueState[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "[i]Music streaming service. Posted by: Sponge - F ..."

nurse ratched : "114 Been sick since last Sunday. Coughed myself aw ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "And isn't Spotify the one that gave Joe Rogan all ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64