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June 05, 2013
Hey, Remember That Guy Who Had His Kids Taken Away...? The One Who Named One Kid Adolph Hitler and Another Kid "Aryan Nation"?He named his kids Adolf Hitler Campbell, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and HonszLynn Hinler. This happened in 2009, in Hunterdon County, NJ. By the way: What the hell is "HonszLynn Hinler"? He came the attention of social services when he tried to get a ShopRight clerk to write "Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler" on a birthday cake. (She refused.) He was set to appear in front of the judge to argue to have visitation rights returned to him. He wanted to tell the judge he was a good father, and missed his kids. "If they're good judges and they're good people, they'll look within, not what's on the outside," he planned to tell the judge. So, if you got your kids taken away for naming your kid "Adolph Hitler Campbell," and you just want the judge to look at the person on the inside, not the outside, what would you do? You know what you'd do -- you'd come to court dressed in a full Nazi uniform, that's what you'd do! I don't know who Eva Braun is there, in this Sexy, Sexy Scenario. I don't think it's the kid's mom, as she has left him and has also voluntarily given up her rights as a parent. One more thing: He showed up for the hearing on the wrong day. So he went down to the courthouse due to a "scheduling error." Wore his Sontag best for nothin'. His actual hearing will take place later this month. I have a feeling I know what the judge's decision will be. I understand this story has certain implications beyond the giggle-factor, about the State taking away your kids just because they don't like your beliefs and political associations. And yet. And yet. There's something about the one-two punch of showing up to court on the wrong day and, of course, wearing the full Nazi garb while doing so, that makes me think maybe they got this one right. Maybe he's not such a good parent. There's also this: He told the TV station that whether wearing his Nazi uniform might sway the judge's decision, depended on the judge. I think he means "If the judge isn't a Jew." And of course he's wrong about that. He actually thinks that a good Christian judge will understand and be down with the whole Third Reich Thing. And there's also this: Court records from previous hearings show that the oldest child, Adolf, frequently threatened to kill people. An Adolph Hitler is threatening to kill people? Well now I've heard everything. Good video, where he says, if I may paraphrase, that he wants people to stop looking at him as the person he is on the outside, which is, superficially, a Nazi uniform and swastika neck tattoo, and start looking at the person he is on the inside, which is also a Nazi at the core. Like Hitler, this guy just doesn't seem to know when he's beaten. He's planning a judicial blitz with armies that haven't existed for two years. Oh, quick update: He just emailed me to say that calling his kid "Adolph Hitler" was a clerical error caused by a rogue low-level staffer who did not have the most recent iteration of the birth certificate.
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