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May 03, 2013

Daily Mail Announces New Video, Girls Gone Felony Flight Risk

Arrested for corrupting the morals of a blogger.

You know how most women who are arrested aren't very attractive? And even those who might be marginally attractive in real life tend to look sorta bad in their mugshots?

Via @jammiewf, Not these babydolls. Whoa nelly, not these babydolls. I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed for cutting off my penis and burying it in the garden where the racoons would get at it.

Now I already gave you the Big Win from the collection of pictures so it's all downhill at the link. But the Hoosegow Honies (as Iowahawk used to call them) at the link are pretty cute.

And speaking of Winsome Slammerbunnies, America's Sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon, went all Drunken Diva on a cop, in a funny and embarrassing tirade caught on police dash-cam video.

Serious issues brought out by the video:

1. She is feisty. That's not just an act. Very Tracy Flick.

2. Also very Tracy Flick: She has given some thought to what it means to be an American, and what the rights of an American are. But not much thought. Mostly she envisions the Constitution as guaranteeing her right to stand where she likes and run her yap.

3. She's sorta trying to defend her husband (if counterproductively), who's actually the driver here who was stopped by the cops. I suppose that makes it cuter. Or cute-ish.

4. But darnit, she wants to know if you know her name, and if you don't, boy howdy!, you are So about to find out, Mister.

5. Her husband completely sells her down the river at the end and tells the cop "I tried [to stop that], that was completely one-hundred percent not my fault." I think this part is going to be An Issue at home.

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posted by Ace at 02:59 PM

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