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April 25, 2013

False Flag, Sequined Eagle Edition: Was Ricin Letter Just an Attempt by One Elvis Impersonator to Frame Another Elvis Impersonator He Was Having a Squabble With?

I still think there isn't any real ricin here.

But, who knows, maybe there's a trace.

And maybe the letters weren't sent to kill anyone -- but to get someone arrested for attempted murder.

Oh, by the way, the second guy isn't technically an Elvis impersonator so I took advantage of the media loophole on headlines, a technique called "just lying about shit to make it sound better."

The investigation into ricin-laced letters addressed to the president, a U.S. senator and a Mississippi judge highlighted a personal feud Wednesday and an unusual cast of characters starting with Paul Kevin Curtis, an Elvis impersonator who had pestered officials for years about his conspiracy theory that the federal government was involved in an organ-harvesting plot.

Most sensible thing I've heard all day.

During the court hearing, McCoy [Elvis' attorney-- ace] suggested that a Tupelo, Miss., taekwondo instructor may have tried to frame her client.

Didn't Elvis Presley's manager, Colonel Tom or whatever, teach him karate or something?

Hal Neilson, another attorney for Curtis, said that the defense gave authorities a list of people who may have had a reason to hurt Curtis, and that James Everett Dutschke's name came up.

On Tuesday, as federal charges against Curtis were dropped, authorities swarmed the Tupelo home of Dutschke, who goes by "Dusty" when playing with his band, Dusty & the RoboDrum.

Um... doesn't "Dusty & the RoboDrum" suggest it's just him and an electronic drumkit, and ergo that it is just him? And so not "a band"?

Do robotic drumkits count as band-mates? Eh, who knows. Kids These Days (TM).

Dutschke, who is under indictment in Lee County on charges of child molestation...

He's been accused of Conspiring to Mount an Anti-Bullying Workshop.

... has been cooperating with officials and is innocent in both cases, his attorney said.

Okay, so here's where it gets weird. I mean, this is where it continues to be weird. Curtis and Dutschke ("Dutschke" is derived from German, where in means "German") haven't spoken for years due to a feud.

Apparently KC was pushing his Organ Pirates theory, and Dutschke mentioned he had a newspaper -- by which I assume he meant "Crazed Newsletter" -- and proposed publishing KC's paranoiac rants in it. But then Dutschke apparently decided that such Ludicrous Piffle would besmirch the reputation of his Crazed Newsletter, and so did not publish the allegations of renal burglary and lung-jacking.

At which point, Curtis claims Dutschke started stalking him on the internet.

Now if you think about it for a moment, it seems just as likely (if not more so) that Curtis began stalking Dutschke -- after all, he'd spiked the story on the Great Pancreas Heist -- so it would be Curtis who was the aggrieved, and therefore stalky, party, but that's Curtis' story and he's stickin' to it.

And uhh... thankyouverymuch-ah.

Maybe they should have just stopped talking to each other and all this could have been avoided.*

* Sorry I'm trying to think of some way to link to A Little Less Conversation and I'm not doing a very good job at it.

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posted by Ace at 06:18 PM

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