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February 28, 2013
Crime is never, ever, ever funny.
Meet Kenneth Fulmer:

A man with a slight drinking problem and anger issues, who proved I posted this week's guess-the-crime too early. To celebrate his birthday, his father went out and bought a cake.
Mr. Fulmer didn't take kindly to the gesture, as The Smoking Gun reports:
...when Fulmer returned home drunk, he began arguing with his father and subsequently “battered” the pensioner “with a cookie cake,” according to a sheriff’s report.
Specifically, investigators charge, Fulmer smashed the cake over the head of his father, who was “covered in the cookie cake” when Deputy Heath Balkom arrived at the home in response to a disorderly person call.
I wish I had something with more comedic potential, but hey. There you go.