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January 30, 2013

Jay Carney: Despite Economy's Contraction, We're "Still Poised" for Growth

I'm "still poised" to win the special lottery they secretly enter you in every time you masturbate.

I've got like sixty thousand secret Masturbation Lottery tickets. One of them smells like a winner.

Others... Well, I keep them in a crawlspace.

Economic Status Update: Poised.

Secret Masturbation Lottery Status Update: Lock of the week.

So it's going to be this all month, "best looking contraction you've ever seen" and "we're totally open to the prospect of a recovery."

All month? Laugh. The press won't ask about this past 3PM.

Via @lilmissrightie

What I Meant To Say Was... Now this link to The Conversation should work.

I had to just clean a few things up for you.



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posted by Ace at 02:05 PM

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