ONT for Friday 1/25/2013: Animal Husbandry Edition

By the time you read this, 'Rons & 'Ettes, I'll be knee-deep in drunkards and barflies down at the ol' salt mine. It's currently just before the ungodly hour of 10:00 AM -- a time not generally recognized in AoS culture and lifestyle. But, being the selfless team player/consummate brown-noser that I am, I thought I'd go ahead and throw something together for you people to look at before I start my workweek.

Now, last night's ONT had its high and low points. By nearly all accounts, the video of the chick in the bikini riding in a Lamborghini was well received. However, the goat balls didn't go over quite as well. I don't know why. I've never tried them, but some folks say they're delicious. I suppose I may have trod upon the delicate sensibilities of a few goat-fanciers among the horde. So, to that end, here's something to make up for it.

I don't have a whole lot of experience with goats aside from watching videos of the ones that "faint" when you startle them. Though, I understand even run-of-the-mill domesticated goats can be entertaining. But, when it comes to animal-related entertainment, the high drama of African wildlife documentaries is tough to beat. The raw, gut-level emotion pulls me in every time.

That's not to say there isn't plenty of enjoyment to be had with the less exotic creatures who inhabit our daily lives. After all, if we didn't derive some degree of pleasure from having them in our midst, mankind never would have domesticated them in the first place. And, while the family dog may not provide the moments of high drama one gets from watching a big cat stalk its prey, our lives are immensely richer for their presence.

You see, family pets offer huge benefits to their owners and ask very little in return. All they really want is a warm, dry place to sleep, something to eat, the occasional treat, and a little bit of familial attention now and then. They're far more low-maintenance than any of the humans you have in your life. After all, what person do you know who would be elated upon being presented with a gift so seemingly insignificant as a sock?

Humans, on the other hand, are terribly complicated creatures. And, as such, they bring complications with them when they enter your life. With pets, you pretty much have the same dog throughout its life with you. There may be changes in their energy level, weight, mobility, etc. as they age, but you're not going to wake up one day and discover that your dog isn't the same dog it was when you first got him. (Well, unless he gets the hydrophobie.)

People, however, you just never truly know:

SAN DIEGO (AP) -- The man who was the voice of Charlie Brown in several "Peanuts" television shows was charged Wednesday with stalking and threatening his former girlfriend and a plastic surgeon who gave her a breast enhancement that he paid for before the relationship ended.

Peter Robbins pleaded not guilty Wednesday in San Diego Superior Court to two counts of stalking and 10 counts of making criminal threats.

So, there's your Friday night ONT for January 25, 2013. I hope you enjoy it while I'm working a hole in the floor attending to the needs of my thirsty patrons this evening. If you would like to show your appreciation for all the time and effort I put into creating this post for your benefit, pay it forward by tipping your bartender generously.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by impoverished bartenders.

posted by Damn Dirty RINO at 09:50 PM

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