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January 21, 2013

ONT - "Hey babe. What are you wearing" Edition [krakatoa]

This is a short fashion ONT. Monday ONTs are for the chicks, I always say.

Which I don't say at all, ever, and instead is simply my way of announcing that the Maetenloch is off doing "trade-shoe, er, show" stuff, and has foisted off this weeks ONT duties onto a motely crew of ruffians, ne'er do wells, butt-pickers, hump-backed northeastern slackjaws, and me.

What sets me apart you ask?

It's the clothes of course. The clothes make the man. And what could be more manly than my current ensemble. (That's franch for totally buff.)

I'm sporting a fashionable layered look: Torn Bruce Lee tshirt, VaTech sweatshirt, and a hoodie. Long underwear, and pajama bottoms, of course. And fluffy slippers.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Hate me because something along those lines is what I've been working in every day for the past few months. Telecommuting for the win! Of course I'm wearing all that because I'm a cheap bastard, and refuse to turn the heat up over 60 most days.

Alas, the dream withers next week, as I start hitting the road damn near full-time for work. Then I have to dress nicely enough for the various JW Marriott or Renaissance concierge lounges. That means ditching Bruce Lee, and sporting the kind of threads that reflects the sort of goal-setter and dream achiever that tells people "Here is a man that's going places..."

still breathing.jpg
"...places I really don't want to soil my Berluti Wingtips in."

Now before you go thinking I'm some sort of smug 1 percenter, let me introduce you to my bank and retirement accounts:

First National Bank of Boned

Thanks to the comprehensive genius of Obamanomics, I too am a 99 percenter. I just happen to still be employed, which makes me an approximately 80 percenter. Using the Obamanomical method(TM), that makes me a 179 percenter in total, and should qualify me as a dependent of the state. Right?

Speaking of mathematical fallacies, anyone else suspect that the average gun-grabber's analytical process looks suspiciously like this?

Where 'x' equals "It's the EBR's, Der!"

The world turns though. The moron horde will abide.

"Horde, Abiding."

What's on your backs & minds, my lovelies?

This ONT brought to you by the A.T.C. Stompy Boot Collection.

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