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October 03, 2012

My Belated Advice For Mitt Romney

Turn your biggest stumbling block into an advantage by admitting it directly. In the opening prepared remark:

"Hello, and thank you for watching at home, and thanks to all those in attendance here in Denver.

"I've learned a lot in my last several years of campaigning. I've met a lot of my fellow Americans, and I've heard their concerns and their aspirations.

"I've also learned a little about myself. As many of you know -- and my legions of critics in the media are quick to tell you -- I'm not a very natural politician. It's a strange skill, an odd talent to be able to walk into very unnatural circumstances -- like this one, standing at a podium, debating a rival, while being watched by 50 million citizens, and behave as if you're just sitting around the kitchen table with your family, talking about stuff.

"Now, I've thrown myself at a lot of challenges in my life. I've been successful at most of them -- I turned Bain Capital from a start-up into one of the most successful venture capital firms in the world. I walked into an area I had no previous experience in -- the Winter Olympics -- and turned a failing enterprise, riddled with corruption and debt, into a sterling exhibition.

"But one thing I still can't master -- and I try -- is pretending that highly unnatural or at least unusual situations are just part of my normal schedule. Like standing up in front of 50 million people, on television, making a case for my candidacy for the office of President of the United States, and trying to come across like I'm just talking to my friends or my sons or my wife.

"I've tried. I'm still trying. But it's a tough skill to master. As they say in Hollywood, you either have It or you don't. I seem to be one of the 99% of the population that doesn't have It. I'm still not sure what It is.

"So what I'm going to do tonight is just tell you what I think the problems in America are. How I would fix them as president. How I think the man currently in office has gone wrong, so many times, and made them worse.

"I'm just going to tell you what I think. I might not come off as a Television Star, I might not have that screen presence that makes you a millionaire in Hollywood, but I am a guy who's spent all of his life solving problems, and particularly problems with enterprises that, while once thriving, have gone badly off-track and are now close to bankruptcy.

"I hope you'll evaluate me based on my achievements and my plans -- and hopes -- for this country. While my critics judge me on acting talent and ability to "emote," I trust citizens to remember what the critics don't -- that, at the end of the day, this is America we are talking about here, not American Idol. Thank you for listening, and I hope I can win your vote."

I'm sure that could use a good edit and compression down to 2/3rds that length.

As O'Reilly says: Now where am I going wrong?

Here's Where I'm Going Wrong: @tsrblke says there are no opening statements this year.

Seven years of college down the f***ing drain.

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posted by Ace at 03:46 PM

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