Monday Night Football Thread | Main | Top Headline Comments 9-11-12
September 10, 2012

Overnight Open Thread (9-10-2012)

Battle Royale: In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President Who Would Win?

Of course I'd be remiss if I didn't cover this.

The rules are pretty simple -

  • Every president is in the best physical and mental condition they were ever in throughout the course of their presidency. Fatal maladies have been cured, but any lifelong conditions or chronic illnesses (e.g. FDR's polio) remain. FDR gets a special combat wheelchair.
  • Each president has been given one standard-issue Gerber LHR Combat Knife. Assume the presidents have no training outside any combat experiences they may have had in their own lives.
  • There is no penalty for avoiding combat for an extended period of time. Hiding and/or playing dead could be valid strategies, but there can be only one winner. The melee will go on as long as it needs to.
  • If it's your first time at presidential fight club, you HAVE TO fight.

So who would be the final winner?

Well my bet would be on Andrew Jackson or Zachary Taylor since they were both career fighting men used to killing people with axes and blades. Likewise Teddy Roosevelt would probably make the top 3.

I think George Washington would do well but still fall at another president's hand. And I suspect George H and George W. Bush in their prime would be strong contenders since they'd likely fight as a team and be willing to give their lives to protect the other. Then there are always wild cards like Chester Arthur or Nixon who might be worth taking a flyer on.

On the other hand most everyone seems to agree that Jimmy Carter would the first to be killed and that Jackson wherever he placed in the end would probably have the most kills.

knifejacksoncommando_training-2-265x300
dune5gTheodore Roosevelt
knife-fight1MJ-Beat-It-Knife-Fight


Iowahawk Explains the New Obama-ized American Dream

Where are you in the free birth control to disability lifecycle?

580x569xlemmebeclear2-600x589.jpg.pagespeed.b.ic.pCsyi3PqiQ

Ex-comedian Bill Maher: The Rich Should Just Admit that They're Lucky

Bill Maher doubles down on a certain line that has become a problem for the Obama Democrats over the past few weeks.
Everyone loves a good underdog story, and President Barack Obama has just that, according to comedian Bill Maher, who said on his Friday night comedy program that Democrats just wish Republicans would admit they were born into laps of luxury.

"New rule: if reelected, President Obama must appoint Bill Clinton to head the EPA because on Wednesday night he cleared away an unbelievable amount of toxic bullshit," Maher said. "Beginning with knocking down the contention that Democrats are envious of success and sneer at the American Dream of starting out with nothing and making good. No, it's not that liberals envy the rich, they just wish the rich would admit they were just lucky."

Bill Maher is certainly lucky. He is short, not good looking, and hasn't been close to funny in at least 10 years. He offers no form of insight in any of his commentary, and isn't entertaining, shrewd or witty.

As Ace has pointed out before Hollywood celebrities are particularly prone to believing that success is mostly due to luck since that's so often the case in showbiz. So of course they naturally assume the rest of the world works the same way. This also explains why they feel so guilty about their own financial success - but can only find solace by making others pay more taxes.

maher1

Who Gets To Watch Which Game

Okay most of the games shown in a region make sense since usually at least one is a local. But some areas don't quite fit this pattern like Oklahoma, Colorado and central South Carolina.

Update: @kosherpickle points out that Tebow and Adrian Peterson explain why CO and OK get different games.

nflgamesweek1coverage

Now going on Day 10 - don't break the chain!!

I m participating in No Fap September. This is going _cee50a90a765d1ba598dfa698ef89ed4

The Yahoo AoSHQ group. Bla bla bla.

And my twitter thang.

Tonight's post brought to you by also by September:tumblr_m9u8fxiVzV1qzl13xo1_500

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maetenloch at gmail. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

digg this
posted by Maetenloch at 09:47 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Apple Fritters While Rome Burns: "88. Did you do a good job of it? I mean, not just ..."

ryukyu: "291 The doctor's lounge at the main hospital I wor ..."

#neverskankles: "Every "smart" person was sure Trump would lose by ..."

Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla: "Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on t ..."

buzzion: "[i]290 As ridiculous as it is the left is still ..."

Bandersnatch: "[i]The doctor's lounge at the main hospital I work ..."

The MFM: "This is a very localized story that's not in the p ..."

Apple Fritters While Rome Burns: "84. Naah....that'd just get willow in on it ..."

Tinfoilbaby: "Do the Dodgers and Cubs play again today? I'm on s ..."

Kreplach: "We knew the fix was in when immunity deals were be ..."

teej : "Golf? Heh. My favorite doc puts in 55-60 hour wee ..."

Shopgirl: "Schlicter on with Liz Mac/FBN. Damn, Colonel!! I ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64