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August 31, 2012

Friday Night ONT [Ben]

Good evening morons and morn-ettes. I'll be providing your substandard entertainment tonight.

Don't Miss Tonight's Rare Blue Moon
Perhaps the moon's saying goodbye to its first human visitor.

On Friday night a rare blue moon will rise in the sky in an astronomical event that occurs only once every three years or so.



The Price of Everything Is Going Up

The price of food, oil and other consumer goods continues to rise. Now it looks like the service industry is raising prices as well, but that didn't sit well with one consumer.

Police in southeast Michigan say a man called to complain that a woman he had agreed to pay for sex unexpectedly increased the price.

You can't blame the hooker for her cost of living price increase. They feed on corn and the drought is causing prices to skyrocket. I blame the government created false market that is ethanol production.


Fan Falls To His Death At Texans Game

This is sad, but not surprising to me. A lot of arenas, stadiums and parks have long drops from seating sections, escalators and staircases. If anything, it's amazing this doesn't happen more often given how drunk some people get at sporting events.

According to witnesses, the man was attempting to slide down the rails of an escalator when he fell. He was taken to a local hospital but died due to the fall from one of the highest levels of the stadium.

Eight Celebrities Who Auditioned for SNL And Bombed

After reading that article, I checked to see if youtube had the audition tapes, unfortunately they didn't.

I did find a handful of successful audition tapes. It's tough to watch the Phil Hartman audition. He was one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. He was great with impressions and voiced some of my favorite Simpson characters, Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure.



A good mashup of three Troy McClure educational videos.

Six Ways Going Green Can Backfire

A lot of these should have been obvious from the start. How did the planners not realize uric acid and copper don't mix well?

Waterless Urinals: Just Imagine what Spanish River High School in Boca Raton, Florida, looked like not long after replacing their standard urinals with 200 of the fancy no-flush type. What the school administrators didn't realize was that without any water to flush away the waste, it would just sit there in the pipes. Copper pipes. And apparently uric acid and copper don't make very good roommates. So the pee decided to bail, seeping out of the walls and into the halls like that scene from The Shining, only instead of blood it was, you know, pee.


Picture Book, Darth Vader And Son


Romney's Moving Convention Intro Speech

In case you missed it from last night. It ran before the Clint Eastwood speech/bit. It's well done and powerful.

Check me out on Twitter.

Tonight's ONT Brought To You By Truth:



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