Meet the Mentally Confused Individuals Who Hold Your Political Fate In Their Dumb Little Hands

Even though there aren't many undecideds, the country is divided roughly equally between liberals and conservatives (in terms of voting, not self-identification), so movement in this small group can still swing the election. Sure, it's all about turnout; but what if turnout is roughly at parity?

Then these dummies get to weigh in. And, hooboy.

The sum total revealed a bizarre truth about swing voters. It’s not that they’re divided on any given issue, with half taking one side and half the other. Rather, everybody seemed to agree with everybody else about everything — and to disagree with them, too. Transitory coalitions formed and dissolved in what seemed a matter of milliseconds, like exotic particles in a supercollider. One minute, Latino Nose Spectacles was in complete agreement with Senior in Blazer. The next, they were at each other’s throats, and Young Yellow Dress had to team with Hair Gel to step in as the voice of reason. Working majorities seemingly assented to some premise, only to split a thousand ways on the most straightforward logical conclusion from said premise.

Everybody hates Congress, but most of these people either voted for their current congressmen or can’t name them. Everybody blames both parties for gridlock, but everyone also wants politicians brave enough to stand for their principles and against business as usual. Most call themselves moderates. One — one — describes himself as a liberal, and he voted for McCain and plans to vote for Romney. There were even those among them, reader, who liked Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan equally. Such people aren’t so much swing voters as they are schizophrenic. It’s Schrödinger’s electorate.

That said...

The bad news is that these people are going to determine the election.

The good news? The good news is that they are for Mitt. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. If Luntz picks his swing-voter focus groups as carefully as he claims, Romney/Ryan has this whole thing sewn up.

Even though they're skeptical of Romney and somewhat down on him, they're a lot more down on President Lower the Seas. Something I've been noting for a long time now. Most likely these broken-hearted dummies won't vote; but if we can get them to vote, they'll probably vote against President Altar-Jilt.

And that's why Obama's campaign is so negative. He wants to scare his own partisans into voting, and convince halfwits like you see here that this is just a big partisan spat and they should just be confused and indecisive in the comfort of their own homes.

posted by Ace at 01:32 PM

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