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April 23, 2012

Thomas Friedman: I Didn't Enjoy My Government-Run Train Ride So Mike Bloomberg Should Be President and "Renew" Government

Thomas Friedman's brain is one-third the size of a man's. It's science.

I had to catch a train in Washington last week. The paved street in the traffic circle around Union Station was in such poor condition that I felt as though I was on a roller coaster.

No it's not. I go there frequently. I can't swear there are no potholes. I can swear, however, I've never noticed them.

I traveled on the Amtrak Acela, our sorry excuse for a fast train, on which I had so many dropped calls on my cellphone that you’d have thought I was on a remote desert island, not traveling from Washington to New York City.

I don't even know what to say to this. You're traveling at 60-70 mph, moving from one cell tower's coverage to the next. Happens, man.

I use the internet connection on the train when I take it. There are occasional interruptions of service, time outs. Sometimes it doesn't work at all, and I have to use my phone as a modem.

I guess I'm just baffled that he's shocked that this happens. And that he demands a gold-plated government to spare him these inconveniences.

When I got back to Union Station, the escalator in the parking garage was broken.

Sucks. But here's the thing: Human beings need more exercise. So, take it as an opportunity to work some of that fat off your belly.

The thing about escalators is this: They are structural conveyances. They cannot be swapped out. Like all mechanical things, they break. During this period of repair, there is no Emergency Escalator ready to go -- as of course there could not possibly be.

Every subterranean area has an elevator in addition to an escalator. If you were so cheesed about the escalator -- try the elevator.

Or do we need a "renewal" and Mike Bloomberg because there was a three-minute line at the elevator?

Maybe you’ve gotten used to all this and have stopped noticing.

I never really expected otherwise.

I haven’t. Our country needs a renewal.

And that is why I still hope Michael Bloomberg will reconsider running for president as an independent candidate, if only to participate in the presidential debates and give our two-party system the shock it needs.

At the link, Pejman Yousefzdeh suggests a meme: Dwell on a tiny, inane point that annoys you, one that government has nothing to do with (or should have nothing to do with), and spin out a GooGoo (Good Government) whine about it, culminating in a call for a 3rd party candidate (preferably Bloomberg) to fix this nit.

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posted by Ace at 01:00 PM

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