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March 02, 2012

Overnight Open Thread

So what's your plan to bug out? Where are you gonna go when economic collapse (known as Obamanomics) comes? EMP? Carrington Effect level solar flare (BTW there is a 1 In 8 Chance Of Catastrophic Solar Megastorm By 2020)? SMOD? Well, Business Insider had some ideas. I'm thinking some of the choices were tongue in cheek. 12 Places To Go If The World Goes To Hell. Seriously, who in there right mind would pick Denver? Or any other major city for that matter? I'd be heading for the hills.
I think this list over at io9 is a bit better although good luck trying to get into Cheyenne Mountain! 10 Places To Ride Out The Apocalypse.

Surprising Song Meanings

I kinda knew about some of these but some of them I had no idea. 13 Songs That Don't Mean What You Think They Do. I guess I didn't pay much attention to some lyrics as a youngin'.

Tutti Frutti by Little Richard. You probably heard this song a lot as a kid, just like you probably watched Mrs. Doubtfire as a kid and didn't think much of it. Well, re-watch Mrs. Doubtfire now that you've gone through middle school and give this record a spin and listen to the lyrics.

If you did that, then you'll realize that the song is all kinds of rough. Not only is it about some guy getting it on with a girl, but multiple girls--Sue and Daisy--and they both "know what to do" (so they're very experienced) and they all drive him crazy.

Also, the repeated hook of "Tutti frutti, aw rooty" was not the original lyrics of the song, before it got picked up to be recorded.

When performing live, Little Richard sang the following:

Tutti Frutti, good booty / If it don’t fit, don’t force it / You can grease it, make it easy.

The lyrics were then changed in studio to "Tutti Frutti, all rooty" (all rooty was slang at the time for "alright") so that the rest of the song didn't make sense, making it more marketable. Yes, that's right. The song you more than likely danced to like an idiot when you were three and didn't know better was originally not just about sex, but anal sex. You're welcome.

Hot Vodka

I do love me some vodka but I don't know about this. 100,000 Scoville Naga Chilli Vodka. 100,000 Scovilles hot?!?! Hot damn that's pretty hot. The video at the link of the reporters taking a shot is pretty funny. Here's a description of how it tastes.

Tasting Note by The Chaps at Master of Malt
Nose: Good crivvens, this stuff smells like pure evil, like the very blood of Satan himself. Such a pungent nose of chilli, it makes your eyes water just sniffing it.

Palate: Oh, actually, this stuff’s not so bad… Wait a second… What’s that… A burning sensation… Oh dear please no...

Finish: asdfkjhjj hfasjklkljfds klajkh khffjk hfjkhfjhklfhjkjfj fkjhlf

Comment: SJjkhahjklaskjhsd aasdfsd asdfasdff [Ed. He’s just mashing his hands against the keyboard and he has a look of panic and also terror as though he’s seen things no one ought ever see…]

Here's a reference table of scoville ratings. Taco Bell Fire sauce is only 500 scovilles.

Ultimate Tazer Ball

Oh hell yeah. I'd play if I could get the other team to put Frum and Yglesias on it. I wouldn't even wait for them to get the ball. I'd just taze them. Anyway, I really don't think this will really catch on as the promoters think. Ultimate Tazer Ball Allows Players To Zap Opposing Players With Stun Guns.

Ultimate Tazer Ball allows players to zap opponents with 300,000-volt stun guns, to induce a muscle spasm which will make them drop the ball or trip over.

Only the player in possession may be zapped as teams of four compete to manoeuvre an over-sized foam ball into their opponents’ net.

There are four fledgling teams – LA Nightlight, Philadelphia Killawatts, Canadian side Toronto Terror and San Diego Spartans.

Toronto Terror look set to encounter problems at home games, as stun guns are banned in Canada.

Actually, I think they have been playing this game for years and it's on network TV on shows like Adventures of the Highway Patrol, COPS, etc.

Condom Tracking

Why? Planned Parenthood Releases Condoms With Geolocation. Can't wait for that moment when parents go to the map and see that little Timmy or good little Sarah has been gettin' busy at the house when the parents were away.


You know what's better than 1 JDAM? 6 JDAMs. Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure a bunch of Korans were harmed during the explosions.

Another D'uh! Study

Women who get frequent headaches or migraines are more likely than others to have sexual problems, a new study from Italy says. No shit? Really? You had to do a study to figure this one out? Psst. You know what might prevent headaches? Sex. Or fapping. Or a glass of water.

Puppeh Playtime

AoSHQ Lifestyle Award

As they say, good behavior is always rewarded. Iowan Wins Beerdrinker Of The Year Award.

Wilson is a writer, homebrewer, beer judge and beer blogger. In 2011 Wilson fasted for 46 days on just water and a dopplebock he brewed with Rock Bottom Brewery & Restaurant in West Des Moines. His experience became a book "Diary of a Part-Time Monk."
"He's a person who really understands and promotes beer," said Andy Brown, Wynkoop’s head brewer. "He also had a near-religious experience revolving around beer this year."

A beer monk? I like it. Preach it brother! Winning a free lifetime supply of beer? That, my friends, is priceless!

DHS Electronic Watch Words

If you partake in social media, watch out, Big Sis has HAL 9000 checkin' your stuff for words listed here. Now that I have perused the list, I'm not sure it's the real list they're using. I don't see Tea Party anywhere on it. Nor SCOAMF.

Pulp Shakespeare

Here's what you get when you cross Pulp Fiction (and Aliens) with Shakespeare. Bard Fiction.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by:

I wonder what you wear with these shoes boots?

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