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January 28, 2012

Overnight Open Thread

Ah yes. It's Caturday. What better way to start it off than to talk about a kitteh that didn't quite get his story told in the movie Alien. Yeah, that's right. A Ginger Kitteh. Jonesy Tells His Side Of The Story.

When, at the end of Alien, Sigourney Weaver says, "This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off," she's not telling the whole truth. Because there's another survivor, curled up with her in the hypersleep capsule. Jones (or Jonesey) the ginger tom.

Jones serves multiple functions within the Alien storyline:
1) CATGUFFIN, a pretext for characters to go wandering off on their own.
2) CATPANION, an excuse for Ripley to express herself out loud when she's otherwise alone.
3) CATSHOCK, a cheap shock tactic in which the cat jumps out unexpectedly.
4) CATSCALLION, a wild card; at the end of the film, the cat might yet be harbouring an alien.

In short, one cannot overestimate the importance of Jones to Alien. This is his story.

Iron Sky

I don't know why, but I think I want to see this movie. Iron Sky Trailer Reveals Space Nazis. It looks campy, cheesy and funny. I mean, c'mon, Nazi's on the dark side of the moon? Space ship Zepplins? Space Messerschmidts? Yeah, I'm in. Hell, Indiana Jones probably makes a cameo!

Kitteh Video

Fight's on. In one corner, we have a kitteh. In the other, a flap door. Ready, fight!

Survival Tip

Now, some of you morons might be wondering why I have a picture of Christina Hendricks up for a story on survival. Well, it turns out, she just might be key for your very survival if you are ever stranded on an island. The Next Time You're Stranded On An Island With Only One Food Source, Make Sure It's Breast Milk.

...There is one food that has it all: the one that keeps babies alive. "The only food that provides all the nutrients that humans need is human milk," [explains Jo Ann Hattner, a nutrition consultant at Stanford University School of Medicine and former national spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association]. "Mother's milk is a complete food. We may add some solid foods to an infant's diet in the first year of life to provide more iron and other nutrients, but there is a little bit of everything in human milk."

Technically, adults could survive on human milk, too, she said; the sticking point would be finding a woman who is willing to provide it (and enough of it).

Amazing Skill

This 8 year old girl is amazing on the guitar.

Uggs Are An STD Indicator

Oh boy. This ought to be a lively discussion topic. Did You Know Uggs Mean You Have Chlamydia?

These days, hating Uggs has become a bit of a cliché. So one writer decided to kick things up a notch, by plotting the boots on a "Scale of Whoredom" from "Sorority Slut" to truck-stop prostitute. Apparently you can tell by a lady's footwear if she has breast implants, a history of sex work, or an STI.

Sex In Space

Well since setting up lunar bases and such is in the news, I'm sure this topic is going to come up and sure enough, there has already been some research. Astronauts Test Sex In Space-But Did The Earth Move?

He cites a confidential Nasa report on a space shuttle mission in 1996. A project codenamed STS-XX was to explore sexual positions possible in a weightless atmosphere.

Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the best 10, he says. "Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions. The results were videotaped but are considered so sensitive that even Nasa was only given a censored version."

Only four positions were found possible without "mechanical assistance". The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.

Mr Kohler says: "One of the principal findings was that the classic so-called missionary position, which is so easy on earth when gravity pushes one downwards, is simply not possible."

OK, when he said guinea pigs, did he literally mean guinea pigs or was it being used as a descriptive term for two, ahem, astronauts?

It's Not A Tumor

Poor kitteh. Cat Thought To Have A Giant Tumor Had Furball In Her Stomach The Size Of Two Cricket Balls. Somebody wasn't brushing their kitteh very well.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Catzillah:

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maet or CDR M. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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