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January 27, 2012

Weekend Swinger Cuckold Party Goes Great, Until Someone Busts Out the Bear Mace

I trust everyone is right at this moment googling "Bear Mace" and seriously considering ordering it.

"Do you think you can come here all weekend, **** my wife and nothing will happen?"

So what happened is that a couple, a man and woman, invited this Internet Stranger over, apparently to sex the wife, but let's face it, ass gas or grass, no one rides for free.

Prosecutor Gary Dow told the court that the weekend 'had gone well' before matters escalated.

It's important to enter that into the legal record.

He said Mr Greenan [Internet stranger] had been woken up on the couch at 4am by Reid [Weirdo Married dude] who invited him into the couple's bedroom for a smoke.

Mr Dow said: 'The complainer sat on the toilet seat and Mr Barclay held a phone out to take a photo.

"The complainer."

'He told the complainer, "smile for the camera."

'He went to get up and Leanne Reid said "f****** smile". She also had said that she was going to get a knife to stab him.

'Mr Barclay then said to the complainer, "Do you think you can come here all weekend, **** my wife and nothing will happen?".'

Barclay then instructed Reid to give him the [bear] repellent, which he told police he had bought in Canada, before he sprayed it on his victim.

Mr Dow added: 'The complainer then ran out of the house leaving his belongings.'

Hold on to your hats:

Representing Barclay, defence agent Neil McShane told the court that drugs had played a part in the weekend's events.

They took ketamine. I don't even know what that is. But I always hear about it in these weird sex situations. It's frequently name-checked on CSI.

It seems to be some kind of veterinary anaesthetic which induces hallucinations in humans.

Ketamine can be used in podiatry and other minor surgery, and occasionally for the treatment of migraine.

Well!

I don't get this whole "have sex with my wife" thing. I always think that that stuff is Gay Substitute Sex for Guys Who Don't Want To Think They're Gay.

Anytime you've got another dude as a critical actor in your swinging sexcapdes, I've got a news bulletin for you: You're gay. You're just getting Close to the Fire without touching the Fire, but you're really, really interested in that Fire, aincha?

Just my opinion.

Anyway, Bear Mace and ketamines. Weird internet sex parties.

Totally a CSI episode. All you need to add is anaphylactic shock (from the Bear Mace) and then the couple disguising the accidental killing as self-inflicted, add a little bit of blah-blah between Marge Helgenberger and her stupid gangster father, and you're all set.



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posted by Ace at 02:14 PM

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