Doctor Michele Bachmann, After Extensive Double-Blind Testing, Determines That The Mandatory Hep B Vaccine In Her Home State of Minnesota Does Not, Repeat, Does Not, Cause Mental Retardation

Oh thank God. I had so worried about all those violated little girls (and boys) in Minnesota not only being needle-raped but also rendered mentally impaired.

[I]f you listened to Bachmann last night, it’s clear that she believes this is the type of issue on which a presidential candidate must stand, must do the right thing, and cannot waver in putting this forth as a conservative principle lest we risk infecting millions of children with mental retardation.

Has this always been an enormous part of this warrior’s soul? Apparently not.

By all appearances, she felt no need to mention, much less work towards stopping, a vaccination that, by her own standards, is an assault on liberty. Even more so actually. The HPV vaccination, while called mandatory, made available an opt-out provision so that the parental rights that she felt were so paramount could be protected in this decision. The Hepatitis B vaccination in Minnesota (state law since 1993) doesn’t even require parental consent at all. And Hep B’s communicability is similar to HPV in that it is primarily transmitted through intercourse, as opposed to being an airborne illness. Currently, no records can be found of Michele Bachmann sponsoring legislation in the Minnesota legislature to repeal the Hep B vaccination or to add a parental opt-out.

Congressman Bachmann served in the Minnesota congress for 5 years. In all that time, she never felt quite as driven by her parental instincts and conservative nature to decry or work to reverse what now she clearly consider to be an incredible breach of conservative values. I wonder what’s changed? Were the children of Minnesota not important enough? Is it only robbing a childhood if it’s vaccinations that her opponent supported but the one’s back home are just fine? Did she lack the same leadership qualities then?

Ben, first of all, don't question Doctor Bachmann.

Second of all, your interpretation that she's some kind of, I don't know, opportunistic ignoramus is entirely ill-founded.

There is a much better explanation at hand, without throwing around allegations of cynical dishonesty.

It all likelihood, Doctor Bachmann did fight against the mandatory, no-consent STD vaccinations in Minnesota.

But, as is the case with all of her big presidential-qualifying fights, she just lost.

Do not seek to explain by malice what can more easily be explained by incompetency, and also, malice.

By the way, who gotz PAID, son!, for those Hep B boondoggles in a needle?

Someone must have gotten paid. Where are the whistleblowers?

Explanation? I have a source who I trust implicitly, because he just showed up five minutes ago and therefore has never lied to me before.

Plus, he posts under a fake name, which you all know is just license to tell the truth.

Anyway, "man in a lab coat" explains this apparent inconsistency of Doctor Bachmann:

We sent that special "non-retard" batch of vaccine to Minnesota. All the rest of it was pretty much crazy-juice.

There you go.

But who gotz paid, SON!, for the "good" vaccines?

posted by Ace at 05:45 PM

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