Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Details to follow


Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Sunday Book Thread | Main | The Barbaric Condition of Western Civilzation a Century Ago. [ArthurK] »
July 24, 2011

Dramatization: How the Gang of Six Royally Effed Up the Debt Ceiling Battle

TITLE CARD:
Thanks, Doctor-Senator Coburn!

CAPTION:
Based on a true story.

FADE IN:
INTERIOR -- WHITE HOUSE OFFICE

EXTREME CLOSEUPS ON TWO MEN. Both are seated, but leaning toward each other aggressively.

CAMERA STAYS TIGHT ON THEIR FACES, throughout.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: "I demand a clean debt ceiling hike."

SPEAKER BOEHNER: "Unacceptable; we're not writing you a blank check. The public wants us to get spending under control."

OBAMA: "Alright, how does $2 billion in cuts sound? Oh, and I'm going to claim credit for the spending cuts idea."

BOEHNER: "$2 billion? You can't possibly be serious."

OBAMA: "Oh, and I also demand that we raise taxes. But you can have credit for that."

BOEHNER: "You aren't serious at all, are you?"

OBAMA: "It's a dealbreaker. And if you walk away now, I will blame the whole mess on you and the Republicans."

BOEHNER: (mutters to self) "We are so going to pwn your ass next year." (louder now) "Here's what's on the table. We agree to raise the debt ceiling in exchange for an equal amount cut from spending. Plus your tax increase. And, no, Republicans are not going to be taking credit for that, Mr. Forgotten Campaign Promise Not To Raise Taxes on the Middle Class. Now, let's talk numbers.

OBAMA: (wary) "What did you have in mind?"

BOEHNER: "We can see our way to reduce revenue at least $2.8 trillion relative to current law. But you'll get your $700 billion tax hike."

OBAMA: "That's acceptable."

BOEHNER: "Great, I'll take it to my people."

SUDDEN CAMERA CUT TO A THIRD PERSON. In the room, apparently, the whole time.

DOCTOR-SENATOR COBURN: "Actually, my people would accept $1.3 trillion tax hike."

OBAMA: (immediately to BOEHNER) "Let me be clear. Forget the deal we just talked about. Obviously the Republicans are more ready to accept higher taxes than you led me to believe. So the new deal will be to reduce revenue by at most $2.4 trillion relative to current law. And it'll be $1.1 trillion in new taxes."

BOEHNER: (seething) "You just agreed to at least a $2.8 trillion reduction."

OBAMA: (gloating) "That deal expired almost as soon as it came out of my mouth." (winks at COBURN)

BOEHNER: "Mr. President, this cannot work if you keep going back on your offers."

OBAMA: (practically dancing in his seat) "I know!"

BOEHNER STANDS AND WALKS OUT

FADE OUT


digg this
posted by Gabriel Malor at 09:36 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "[]i[Some statins cause both short term and long te ..."

torabora : "Pro-choice Democrat marylin lands gives anti-abort ..."

Ciampino - Was I going upstair when called?s or downstairs: "426 Posted by: Braenyard at March 28, 2024 01:09 ..."

Braenyard: "I'm overtime, y'all have a good evening. ..."

RickZ: "[i]Didn't think Kennedy would pick someone that nu ..."

mikeski: "[i]Pete Buttgiggity to sport a smug look on his fa ..."

mikeski: "[i]The original Siamese Twins, the Bunker twins, w ..."

Ciampino - Tabasco to the fartclam: "515 And some national fake day, a Tranny Day of W ..."

Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come: "[i]509 Ramadan lights will be on display in centra ..."

raimondo: " Pro-choice Democrat marylin lands gives anti-abor ..."

Braenyard: "Didn't think Kennedy would pick someone that nuts. ..."

Ciampino - Another communist?: "Robert F. Kennedy Jr. VP pick Nicole Shanahan help ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64