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June 30, 2011
I'm Not Saying Democrats Aren't Patriotic . . . But Hahvahd IsVia the always interesting Guy Benson, it seems Democrats have a patriotism problem after all. Of course, the Harvard social scientists couch it as Republicans having "appropriated" patriotic holidays, but if the Democrats were better than indifferent on the issue, I doubt that could have happened. Democratic political candidates can skip this weekend's July 4th parades. A new Harvard University study finds that July 4th parades energize only Republicans, turn kids into Republicans, and help to boost the GOP turnout of adults on Election Day. The key findings of the study are that July Fourth celebrations (1) increase the likelihood of a youth identifying as a Republican by at least 2 percent if attended before age 18, (2) raise the likelihood that attendees will vote for a Republican candidate by 4 percent; and (3) boost the likelihood an attendee will vote by about 1 percent; and (4) increase the chances an attendee will make a political contribution by 3 percent. Those are slight differences, but every little bit counts. LATER: Top Ten Ways Democrats Can Re-"Appropriate" July Fourth 10. Include a disclaimer on celebration notices warning that displays of patriotism might endanger children's welfare. 9. Have the EPA require that celebrations use only fireworks that are environmentally friendly and greenhouse gas neutral. 8. Include a ritual apology to Great Britain after all readings of the Declaration of Independence. 7. Have the National Endowment for the Arts fund naked interpretive dance troupes at July Fourth parades. Also, drum circles. 6. Burn slave-owning Founders in effigy. 5. Have the NLRB require that all parade volunteers be unionized. 4. Serve soy chai lattes at July Fourth parades. 3. A free bong hits booth at every parade. 2. Require that children have a permission slip to attend signed by . . . their school principal. And the Number 1 way that Democrats could re-appropriate the Fourth of July is 1. Actually love their country and talk about it without always saying "I love America, but [issue probably having to do with their relationship with their fathers]." Effin' 'tards. | Recent Comments
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Daily Tech News 29 April 2024
Sunday Overnight Open Thread (4/28/24) Gun Thread: End of April Edition! Food Thread: Little Donkeys! Yum! First-World Problems... Blue-On-Blue Fighting! Cheer For Casualties On Both Sides! Sunday Morning Book Thread - 04-28-2024 ["Perfessor" Squirrel] EMT 4/28/24 Daily Tech News 28 April 2024 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (4/27/24) Search
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The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |