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May 14, 2011

Overnight Open Thread-Oh my! UFO's, Conspiracy Theories, Space Nazis, Kittehs and Fappin' Edition [CDR M]

AREA 51 Book
Remember author Annie Jacobsen? She wrote the book Terror In The Skies about her experience on NorthWest Airlines Flight 327 where 13 Syrian musicians were acting strangely. Well, she has a new book coming out titled Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base. I think we know her genre now. Her new book asserts that Roswell was a Soviet plot to create panic in the United States and the infamous Nazi Dr. Mengele is involved with it.

It dismisses the alien story and puts forward the theory that Stalin was inspired by Orson Wells’s famous radio adaptation of the HG Wells novel War of the Worlds, which provoked hysteria across America when broadcast in 1938. According to the book, the plot started after the Soviet Union seized from Germany at the end of the war the jet-propelled, single wing Horton Ho 229 – a fighter said to be the forerunner of the modern B2 stealth bomber.

This is where Mengele enters the story. The Nazi doctor, who experimented on prisoners in Auschwitz and fled to South America after the war, was supposedly enlisted to create a crew of “grotesque, child-size aviators” in return for a eugenics laboratory.

The book says that the plane was filled with “alien-like” children, aged 12 or 13, who Stalin wanted to land in America and cause hysteria similar to the 1938 broadcast. But, the plane, remotely piloted by another aircraft, crashed and the Americans hushed up the incident.

Do I think this is true? Hell no. Would it make a great X-Files episode? Hell yeah! I think Mulder and Scully are looking for new material no?

Super 8
Now speaking of Roswell. The upcoming movie, Super 8, looks to be pretty good. I'm leery though, simply because J.J. Abrams has burned me before on some of his projects (Cloverfield anyone?). But if reports are true that it incorporates much of the feel from movies like Jaws, E.T., Close Encounters, The Thing (Carpenter version), Alien, Slumber Party Massacre and Scanners, then count me in, especially if it has a The Thing/Carpenter feel to it. This link has some of the TV spots.

I like that JJ puts themes and thoughts on the table... gives us notions to think about... but if JJ is telling us that he's made a jam pic, that has a healthy dose of Spielberg - but with a good even amounts of Cronenberg, Carpenter, Ridley Scott with a smidge of SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE at some level...

Man, the mind boggles. I have spoke to people that have seen SUPER 8 at various stages. I've heard it called "FUCKING EXCELLENT" to "A CLASSIC" - and I am genuinely curious to see if it comes to be one or both of those. A FUCKING EXCELLENT CLASSIC that could be played with those 7 titles would be awfully nice, dontcha think?

Top 10 Greatest Conspiracy Theories
According to The Telegraph, here are your Top 10 Conspiracy Theories. I had no idea that there was a conspiracy theory involving Paul McCartney or William Shakespeare. I'm surprised the Birther deal wasn't on the list.

Iron Sky
Now here's what looks like a B movie that involves Nazis in space and I think it's a tongue in cheek, sci-fi piece. It intrigues me. Space Zeppelins? Check. Dark side of the moon? Check. Blonde, female super warriors? Oh I hope so. I wonder if those space fighters are called Messerschmidts? Anyway, the movie is called Iron Sky and won't be out until next year.

National Masturbation Month

OK. Raise your hand (if you aren't otherwise engaged right now) if you knew that May is National Masturbation Fapping Month? When did this happen? Jeez. Well, in light of this news, don't forget about The Health Benefits Of Fapping. Oh, and for the 'ettes, Jezebel offers up How To Buy A Sex Toy. I know, I know, you all want SEAL Team 6.

Now, speaking of fapping, note the shake weight technique of this newscaster at the start of this news report. This has to be the funniest news bit aired in quite some time. This could only be funnier if Ron Burgandy was doing it.

The Fapping World Record
So what IS the world record in fapping? Well, it seems the World Record was set earlier this year at 40 climaxes in a 24 hour period. This dude is a freak too.

January 13th 2011, New York City resident, Japanese Shigeru Tanaka( nicknamed Shiggy) spent his 24 hours determined to become the new masturbation record holder. His only aids was his 50 something porn site memberships, wearing his wife’s underwear and a tube of lubricant. His “marathon” ended squeezing in on last orgasm to reach total of 40 orgasms in 24 hours.

War Kitteh in a tank! Warning: Some violence visited upon humans by the kitteh that is slightly graphic.

Cats in Tanks from Whitehouse Post on Vimeo.

Ok, ok. That was a tad violent. Here's some traditional kitteh cuteness.

War Dogs

Enough of the kittehs, how about War Doggehs?
Within the military, the breeds of choice are generally the German shepherd and a Belgian shepherd, or Malinois, but Marines in Afghanistan rely on pure-bred Labrador retrievers because of the dogs’ good noses and nonaggressive, eager-to-please temperaments. Labs now accompany many Marine foot patrols in Helmand Province in southern Afghanistan, wandering off-leash 100 yards or more in front as bomb detectors. It is the vital work of an expensively trained canine (the cost to the American military can be as high as $40,000 per dog), but at the end of a sweltering day, sometimes a Lab is still a Lab.

I wonder how soon until PETA starts making a big stink. Or have they already?
More Photos of Combat Doggehs In Action.

Dave In Texas?

Is this your house Dave in Texas? Texas Neighborhood Furious At Statue Of David In The Front Yard. I wonder if Little David there is hooked up to the water hose for some, um, plant irrigation duties or somethin'.

Haggling Tips

Awesome article on How To Haggle Like Your Old Man. Lots of good info.

Optical Illusion
This is pretty cool. This video highlights the phenomenon called Change Blindness. The dots are always flashing colors, even when the circle starts to rotate although you'll think the flashing stops when the rotation begins.

IM of the day:

I think that if our police forces looked like this that high speed chases would drop to zero. In fact, I imagine that criminals would stop on command and obey these police officers instructions. Behold, 20,000 Female Russian Police Recruits in Moscow Victory Day Parade.

Tonights ONT brought to you by Princess Leia in the super, dooper, extra special Star Wars on Blu-Ray edition:

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