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March 25, 2011

Sarah Palin Takes High Road With Bill Maher, Except The Part Where She Keeps Noting His Dwarf-ish Stature

That headline isn't supposed to be slam-Palin; it's supposed to be funny.

If you're going to go after Bill Maher, hit him where it hurts, which is in his very high heeled booties.

I mean, Bill Maher's just like Prince, except where Prince is just over five foot tall and isn't funny, Bill Maher is white.

He's also very short and hates women because of that.

Oh, and his face is so acne-pocked it looks like he blasted an Alien with a shotgun at close range. A short Alien, I mean. Because otherwise the acid-blood which just sail comfortably over his short head.

Palin didn't mention Maher by name and pledged not to waste time "responding to personal, vulgar, sexist venom spewed my way."

"Upon my return from an outstanding and productive trip to India and Israel, I've been inundated with requests to respond to petty comments made in the media the past few days, including one little fella's comment which decent people would find degrading," Palin wrote on her Facebook page Thursday night.

"I won't bother responding to it though, because it was made by he who reminds me of an annoying little mosquito found zipped up in your tent; he can't do any harm, but buzzes around annoyingly until it's time to give him the proverbial slap," she continued.

Suggestion for Palin: Work "dainty" into the next slam. Little fellas hate that word. It's yours, no charge.

Palin just announced that she wasn't going to "keep whining" (her words) about media bias but that vow is either short-lived or maybe it's more qualified than I first understood it.

A day after Sarah Palin suggested that she was done taking on the unfair "lamestream media," the former Alaska governor took to Facebook to say that she had no intention of retreating. Referring to one of her most inconic slogans, Palin signalled that she was, in fact, ready to "reload."

"Friends, too often conservatives or Republicans in general come across as having the fighting instinct of sheep. I don't," Palin wrote on Thursday. "I was raised to believe that you don't retreat when you're on solid ground; so even though it often seems like I'm armed with just a few stones and a sling against a media giant, I'll use those small resources to do what I can to set the record straight. The truth is always worth fighting for. Doing so isn't whining or 'playing the victim card'; it's defending the truth in fairness to those who seek accurate information. I'll keep attempting to correct misinformation and falsehoods about myself and my record, and I will certainly never shy from defending others who are unfairly attacked. This is in the name of justice."

Some had interpreted Palin's restrained demeanor in an interview with Fox News earlier this week as a sign she might be folding the so-called "victim card" that some conservatives had accused her of playing so frequently. In her Facebook post Thursday, the former Alaska governor appeared to try to reframe her battle with the 'liberal media' by using a different tone.

"We must always remember the big picture. The media has always been biased. Conservatives - and especially conservative women - have always been held to a different standard and attacked," Palin said. "Let's just acknowledge that commonsense conservatives must be stronger and work that much harder because of the obvious bias. And let's be encouraged with a sense of poetic justice by knowing that the 'mainstream' media isn't mainstream anymore. That's why I call it 'lamestream,' and the LSM is becoming quite irrelevant, as it is no longer the sole gatekeeper of information."

Yeah I don't know the right play here. I do think she was a little over-eager to wrestle with the pig that is the media (as they say, you can't win that fight; you get dirty and the pig loves it) but obviously media bias is always at work and it should be mentioned.

Maybe she means she'll start responding more flippantly to the media, treating them as beneath her. Which would be a good take.

The important thing in all of this, however, is that Bill Maher is short, really believed at one point in his career that he could be a leading man actor, dates whores and seems like a petri dish for Herpes and just generally is so skivosa and seedy and nasty that if I my kids needed babysitting and my choices were 1) Bill Maher and 2) the guy on the park bench in "Aqualung" then I think I'll just have to teach my kids how to blow a rape whistle loud enough to be heard over a flute solo.

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posted by Ace at 12:46 PM

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