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January 11, 2011

CBS University: New Course Offerings for Spring Quarter, 2011

Journalistic Hackery 101

Instructor: Prof. Katie Couric

Class meets M-F 6:00 pm to 6:30 pm (Time may vary depending on locality)

Course Syllabus: This course will explore the various ways in which a large media organization can and will shamelessly distort a news event using facts which may or may not be actual facts. By the end of the course the student will be expected to have mastered the art of and demonstrate complete proficiency in being completely full of shit.

Course excerpt:

During her January 10th, 2011 lecture, Prof. Couric discusses the recent massacre in Tucson and informs the class that the alleged shooter has been provided with a court-appointed public defender, Judy Clarke:

Ah, Timothy McVeigh. In this way the not-so-subtle connection is made. But has Ms. Clarke been part of the defense team for any other high-profile cases? Where the defendant perhaps may be of a different political stripe? Or none at all? Let’s see…

According to CNN:

"A federal public defender known for handling high-profile cases, Judy Clarke, has been appointed to represent Loughner, a federal judicial source told CNN. Clarke previously defended the "Unabomber," Ted Kaczynski, and assisted in the case of confessed al Qaeda operative Zacarias Moussaoui."

Nope. No McVeigh there.

And the NY Times:

"Ms. Clarke has helped a number of infamous defendants avoid death sentences, including Theodore J. Kaczynski, the Unabomber; Eric Robert Rudolph, the Atlanta Olympics bomber; and Susan Smith, the South Carolina woman who drowned her toddlers."

Still no McVeigh.

Did Ms. Clarke actually work on the McVeigh defense team? It's possible she did in some respect though the primary defense attorney was Steven Jones. Neither the CNN nor NY Times articles mention that trial. Nor is there any reference to it on Ms. Clarke’s Wikipedia page.

Irrelevant, because Prof. Couric has skillfully made a connection where there doesn’t appear to be one yet has planted the seed in the fertile minds of her students: McVeigh = Clarke = Loughner. A simple equation known as the ‘Bullshit Constant”. One that all students are expected to master before advancing to the next course in the curriculum, Journalistic Hackery 201

End of course excerpt.

Prof. Couric’s office hours vary but she’s always happy to meet with enthusiastic students, time permitting.

All rights reserved by Complete Bull Shit University. Proudly serving it up the community for quite some time now,

Chancellor Dan Rather

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