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June 30, 2010

Portland Police on Al Gore: There Is The "Possibility" Of A Prosecution For Sexual Assault

Is this real?

I have been pretty skeptical. But...

She says she has evidence of the attack, including DNA from a pair of pants she was wearing that night four years ago.

Okay, so test it already!

I know they don't have a sample of Gore's to compare it against, but any male DNA on the pants would be enough to push the case forward, at least as far as getting a warrant for a sample of Gore's.

If it's just sweat, though, what does that prove? She was a masseuse; of course she was touching Al Gore, and he's a big fat lumpy sack of fat, so of course he was sweating like a fevered castrati boar.

It's only real proof if the DNA in question is, uh, the effluent from the second chakra.

Al Gore Poetry... from garrett.

One thin September soon
A masseuses hand disappears
Beneath the sheet

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on my lower abdominals
Make my bone dissolve

Slow strokes from the moobs to belly
Ice fathers floods in your pants
A hard tug and my recount comes quickly

Then my throat is parched
Your hand is placed near wood
For the VP's celebration

Unknown creatures in my shorts
Take their leave, unload!
Gynecologists ready their stirrups

Passion seeks a 2nd Chakra release
The belle wants a tip?
On the hill I was the most Hung

The client cries
The hour of release has arrived
Here! Is my tool.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:59 AM

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