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June 18, 2010

Will Folks: Sacred Honor Compels Me To Endorse Nikki Haley As The Best Lay I Ever Claimed I Had

She's nothing but a lying Jezebel! Two thumbs up, way up!

He’s still convinced she’s lying about their “inappropriate physical relationship,” but Will Folks is endorsing South Carolina state Rep. Nikki Haley for governor anyway.

After all that, it turns out Folks doesn’t think the alleged affair matters.

“The fact remains that this election (at least to us) isn’t about whether Haley is telling the truth regarding Sic Willie’s [sic] claim — or a subsequent claim made by lobbyist Larry Marchant — it’s about the hundreds of millions of dollars that will likely be saved as a result of her winning the general election in November,” Folks wrote Friday on his blog, FITSNews.com.

Thank God he's back on the team.

Whew.

Update: My good friend Larry Merchant just wrote me to say he also endorses Nikki Haley, and also, Restoration Hardware is having a sale on milk-paint faux-antique furnishings. He says they have an armoire that is, in his words, "to die."

Another Update: Will Folks himself just wrote me to say he's going to reveal he had once had sex with a cantaloupe in college, and he wants to go as public as possible with this revelation "so it doesn't embarrass my wife... I mean, my God, I don't want her reading this on a blog. I want her to read it in the Washington Post, classy-like."

PS, the cantaloupe denies the story, and I believe the cantaloupe.


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