Eric Holder: I Haven't Yet Read That Arizona Immigration Law I've Already Decided Is Unconstitutional
Plus: Islamic Terrorism, What?
| Main | Chris Christie to Reporter: I'm Not "Confrontational," You Mewling Pussy
May 13, 2010

Lawrence Taylor: I'm Innocent Because All I Did With My Underage Hooker Was Punch the Clown

Paragon of Virtue.

Actually, Lawrence Taylor isn't claiming this; a colleague of his young hooker friend is saying it. (And, I wonder, how much money changed hands from lawyer-to-fixer-to-pimp-to-hooker to have her say it.)

The 16-year-old hooker allegedly blurted it out after she left a Rockland County hotel room where Taylor paid her $300.

"She starts explaining that it was weird because she didn't even have sex," the pal told investigators, according to the source.

"When she got back in the car, she wasn't mad or anything like that. She was like, 'Wow' - she got paid $300 and didn't have to have sex with him."

The hooker, though, says they did have sex.

Since, I take it, the definition of the charge against him (3rd degree rape, I think) includes as an element actual sex, you know what we got right here?

We've got Clinton/Lewinsky redux, sorta.

I didn't have sex with her, Your Honor.

I had sex near her.

Wasn't in her.

Adjacent, yes.

Inside, no. That would be wrong.

There's an important legal distinction, Your Honor.

Thanks to rdbrewer.


Oh: A commenter says "I thought he rape-raped her," based on the first reports, and that's what I thought too. Or rather, I wasn't sure if it was a rape-rape or stat-rape charge.

Stat rape, it turns out.



digg this
posted by Ace at 08:16 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
notsothoreau: "And I wish they'd added Megan McArdle to their lis ..."

Glenn John: "Did Egg McMuffin make the list? ..."

geoffb: "I'm sure they are all part of the "we" that McCain ..."

notsothoreau: "They simply refuse to understand that what the cou ..."

Bernette: "Yes, we're talking treason I think. Sadly not gonn ..."

Roy: "Chelsea Handler is noticeably absent from that lis ..."

Rick in SK: "Wake me up if S.E. Cupps decides to get into porn ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "The only use of this list is to mock and poke at t ..."

Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter: " nooodo! ..."

alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around.: "So since the illegal guy didn't start the fire, he ..."

NYCcon: "Two-trick pony. That's gold. ..."

Tom Servo: "It's a very useful list, in fact. 25 Traitorous ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64