Cinco De Humpday : Cougar Edition

I'm turning 40 this year. Will not be a cougar. That whole thing's pretty stupid, in my worthless opinion.*

The department store said a nationwide analysis of the most popular lingerie styles from October 2009 to April 2010, revealed that women over 40 have given the more seductive side of the lingerie industry a big boost.

"Positive female role models in this age group such as the women in the Sex and the City movies and Courteney Cox in TV's Cougar Town are giving the women confidence to splash out on themselves," Debenhams head lingerie buyer Annette Warburton said in a statement.

The technical term for this phenomenon is 'deranged denial.'

Sex and the City. Egad.

Those four old sluts were positive female role models? Oh my. Bitches, get right with God, put your head back on your shoulders, and kick that man-child out of your bed.**

Role Model.

I mean, CRIKEY, do we have to assemble your whole lifetime of photographs into some kind of cruel time-lapse flipbook so that you can understand just exactly what has happened to you?

Now, there are many many beautiful and sexy older women. But 40 is not, never will be, 'the new 20.' It's only the new 20 for those who never learned not to behave like an alleycat the first time around.

*This is kind of an unusually negative post for me. I fully expect and demand a beating.

**Unless he married you, in which case, Congratulations! You have a son.

posted by Laura. at 12:52 PM

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