CNN: We Must Destroy The Earth Before It Destroys Us

Well, that's my takeaway, anyway. CNN writes of the Vengeful Goddess Gaia, determined to strike us down for failing to appease.

"Release the Kraken," she hisses, but by "Kraken," she means "earthquakes and volcanoes."

Yes, CNN is actually pushing the Global Warming Causes Earthquakes and Volcanoes "theory."

Anyone notice that whatever Vengeance of the Goddess calamity befalls us, a "consensus scientist" informs us it's all due to Global Warming within a week?

Both Iceland and the United States exalt democracy as a social achievement worthy of lasting an eternity. Yet the latter's unprecedented strength has derived not just from enlightened government, but from the release of its own hot clouds: exhaust from its vast industries, fleets and mechanized agriculture.

As we have learned, these gases form an invisible barrier that, like a greenhouse's glass ceiling, keeps reflected heat of the sun from escaping our atmosphere. The denser that gaseous barrier grows, the hotter things get and the faster glaciers melt.

As they flow off the land, we are warned, seas rise. Yet something else is lately worrying geologists: the likelihood that the Earth's crust, relieved of so much formidable weight of ice borne for many thousands of years, has begun to stretch and rebound.

As it does, a volcano awakens in Iceland (with another, larger and adjacent to still-erupting Eyjafjallajokull, threatening to detonate next). The Earth shudders in Haiti. Then Chile. Then western China. Mexicali-Calexico. The Solomon Islands. Spain. New Guinea. And those are just the big ones, 6+ on the Richter scale, and just in 2010. And it's only April.

[And then Guam capsizes -- ace.]

It's looking like this may be a long decade. And if we don't pull carbon out of the way we energize our lives soon, a small clump of our not-too-distant surviving descendants may find themselves, as Gaia scientist James Lovelock has direly predicted, like the first Icelanders: gathered on some near-barren hunk of rock near one of the still-habitable poles, trying yet anew to eke out a plan for human civilization.

Good Goddess!

Thanks to Slublog.

Oh: Thanks again to Slublog -- Weisman is totally like a scientist and totally qualified to speak authoritatively about Gaia stretching her legs after shrugging glacial ice from her mighty shoulders.

He is a professor of literature, which, you know, means that he's a "climate expert," because anyone who believes in Gaia's Green Vengeance is a qualified climate expert.

posted by Ace at 02:40 PM

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