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Even as Comcast Prepares to Sell, Or Shut Down, Toxic Propaganda Network MSNBC, MSNBC's Ratings Crash to Lowest Level in 20 Years
The Hunter Biden Pardon Has Stripped Bare the Democrats' Years-Long Preening About How They're the Party That "Respects the Rule of Law" Whistleblower Claims That FEMA Skipped Entire Neighborhoods If They Sported Three or More Trump Signs; House Republicans Demand Inspector General Investigate Update: Biden Decrees $1 Billion in Aid for Storm Victims -- For Africa South Korea's President Declares Martial Law -- But the Parliament Cancels It on a 190-0 Vote Flashback: When Taylor Lorenz Freaked Out About People Not Wearing Masks and "Rawdogging The Air" With Their Particles The Morning Rant: Reflections Edition Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/3/24 Daily Tech News 3 December 2024 Monday Overnight Open Thread (12/2/24) - Doof Absent Friends
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AOSHQ On Dealing With StressGood Day to you, Morons, Moronettes, and all you drooling lovable pudding-eaters with your sneakers on the wrong feet. As you all know, here at the 'Q, we usually depend on Val-U-Rite 'irregular' vodka and hobo-killin' to take care of any stress issues that may arise in the course of our daily meanderings. However, sometimes the life's blood of a drifter slithering through our fingers in big wet chunky gobbets just isn't enough to calm us or take our worry away. Let's be realistic; life has gotten difficult for many, many American working men and women. I'm sure there's plenty of tales of woe right here on this very blog. I have a couple of friends who are very, very, very tense right now. One of them is a working mom whose office staff has been pared back to the point where she feels that the world is resting on her shoulders. The other is the backbone of her family, who recently lost her (not-great paying) job and is trying to struggle along on some pretty paltry unemployment dough. These are tense times. This post is dedicated to all you worried people, and to my friends Tammy and Lisa. Most of us are probably familiar with these mental exercises that help affirm us and provide a healthy outlook. I have a relaxing and enjoyable stress-reduction exercise for you under the break, here. Please consider it a gift from the Ace of Spades family, to yours. After reading this, close your eyes and do the following: Take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Good. Now I want you to think about all your stress, all your problems, the needs of your family, and all the difficulty you are having with other people, too. Imagine all of this taking the form of a bird. A really huge bird. This bird is a gigantic ugly vulture, bigger than you, perched on your wretched shoulders like a malevolent spirit. Take a few moments to feel the weight on your shoulders, literally oppressing you. It is painful and your spine feels ready to crack from the weight. This ugly motherfucker's loathsome and filthy claws are digging into your neck, it is chuckling hideously, and you feel nauseated and wracked with unutterable fear. Good. You're doing great. The vulture's beak represents your own worry. The beast is now beginning to drag its beak, crusty and polluted, across your forehead, wickedly teasing you. This leaves stinging scratches in your skin, which further excite the bird's attention. Imagine your bowels let go. Good. If you are on heart medication, place it under your tongue now and catch your breath to let the hysteria abate a bit. The beak (which represents worry) now makes its initial foray into your flesh. It slams into the top of your eyesocket, bursting through your skin and mashing the soft flesh underneath. The foul, reeking beak continues hammering into your skull, pulling out mashed stringy bits of gore. Your eyeball is hanging wetly against your cheek, suspended at the end of some long piece of red goo. You know you are going to die, and you begin screaming, screaming, screaming in vain. Take a breath. Look; how bad is your day, really? Think about it. | Recent Comments
18-1:
"[i]They are so inculcated with the Party line that ..."
PaleRider: "the FNM "didn't push back, they ate it up". ..." Black JEM: "Let me help you - managers were given a budget and ..." Hokey Pokey: "284 Biden inc has $billions salted away in offshor ..." Cheri: "Why would a house have more bathrooms than bedroom ..." Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: " However, individual Dem voters, once reality lit ..." 18-1: "[i] So, the jury has to weigh all these factors i ..." Peel gp A Jackfruit: "305 Well put! ..." Chuck Martel: "As I understand it, the Pope can issue indulgences ..." AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna: "[i]"Why would a house have more bathrooms than bed ..." Orson: "That Penney trial has some nuance in it. The prim ..." 18-1: "[i]I have to disagree with your on this one. The ..." Recent Entries
Even as Comcast Prepares to Sell, Or Shut Down, Toxic Propaganda Network MSNBC, MSNBC's Ratings Crash to Lowest Level in 20 Years
The Hunter Biden Pardon Has Stripped Bare the Democrats' Years-Long Preening About How They're the Party That "Respects the Rule of Law" Whistleblower Claims That FEMA Skipped Entire Neighborhoods If They Sported Three or More Trump Signs; House Republicans Demand Inspector General Investigate Update: Biden Decrees $1 Billion in Aid for Storm Victims -- For Africa South Korea's President Declares Martial Law -- But the Parliament Cancels It on a 190-0 Vote Flashback: When Taylor Lorenz Freaked Out About People Not Wearing Masks and "Rawdogging The Air" With Their Particles The Morning Rant: Reflections Edition Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/3/24 Daily Tech News 3 December 2024 Monday Overnight Open Thread (12/2/24) - Doof Search
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The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |