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December 08, 2009

Tiger Woods Voicemail: The Director's Cut
Oh My: Confirmed Racial Huckster/Sub-Moron Eugene Robinson: Tiger Woods' Infidelities and Betrayals Did Not Demonstrate Sufficient Fidelity to the Principles of Diversity

With lots of bonus footage previously unseen. Link Problem: For some reason this link leads to a sketch about Tetris. Skp that and click on the next clip, the one about Tiger Woods.

Really, really damn funny.

Via AllahPundit's Twitter feed.

Where Are The Minority Women At? It's come to this.

As Ed says, you knew it was coming, but you expected it to come from an unhinged blogger with not a damn thing to do all day but contrive outrage.

Not from the Washington Post.

Here’s my real question, though: What’s with the whole Barbie thing?

No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who’ve been linked to Woods resemble one another. I’m talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement.

This may be the most interesting aspect of the whole Tiger Woods story — and one of the most disappointing. He seems to have been bent on proving to himself that he could have any woman he wanted. But from the evidence, his aim wasn’t variety but some kind of validation.

I’m making a big assumption here that the attraction for Woods was mostly physical, but there’s no evidence thus far that he had a lot of time for deep conversation. If adultery is really about the power and satisfaction of conquest, Woods’s self-esteem was apparently only boosted by bedding the kind of woman he thought other men lusted after — the “Playmate of the Month” type that Hugh Hefner turned into the American gold standard.

But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes — some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an “official” standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.

Oppressive to whom? The perfectly-qualified minority Denny's-Parking-Lot quick-slams that Tiger overlooked to have unsafe condom-free sex with?

Oppressive to them? Do they have a spokesman and a lobby? Have careers been cut short due to this failure of Tiger to broaden his strumpet candidate search?

Is ten minutes of sex with Tiger Woods a career? Well, you get paid; we know that. But is it a career?

His taste in mistresses leaves the impression of a man who is, deep down, both insecure and image-conscious — a control freak even when he’s committing “transgressions.”

Why does Eugene Robinson hate white women?

Gee, a guy has a type he's attracted to. I'm just curious -- how many professional athletes are married to ugly women? Like, um, zero?

How come they don't sample the rich diversity in differing standards of female beauty?

I'm not saying black women are unattractive. I'm saying if a guy likes a type, he likes a type.

I can't believe this nonsense. It's now come to the point where there's a quota system for your skankwhores and pincushions. It's not that you violated your marital vows with so many women, Tiger: It's that you failed to implement a trained Diversity Outreach manager to select your nightcrawling guttertrollops and ensure you were drawing from a racially-conscious pool of talent.

One knock on bloggers -- and it's a valid one -- is that we sit around all day contriving nonsense to talk about, and aren't sufficiently "serious" about stuff, choosing to avoid the serious in favor of the quick, easy, and provocative.

Again: A knock on bloggers which is valid. A knock on myself which is valid.

But, darnit, that professional credentialed media is so, so much smarter and more serious. They exhibit such better judgment.

Don't they?

Don't they?

Am I, Too, Oppressed? How come all these women were willing to have semi-anonymous unprotected "frantic" and "desperate" sex with the same type of dude -- young, fairly handsome, professional athlete with a billion dollars?

Aren't I oppressed, too?

Why aren't these sorts of conventionally-attractive women more dedicated to the principles of diversity? When do they broaden their search criteria to include Ewok-looking bloggers with three cents in their bank accounts?

Four Words: Skankcrumpet. Diversity. Beer summit.

Alternate Headline: A commenter suggests the following:

WaPo: Tiger Woods Exposed as Serial Philanderer; Women, Minorities Least-Hardest Hit

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