What a Goofy FiAF This Is | Main | Obama's Awesomely Humble Comments Acknowleging He Hasn't Done Anything At All Make Right Look Foolish for Noting He Hasn't Done Anything At All
October 09, 2009

Top Ten Candidates Who Almost Won the Nobel Prize

10. Dr. Neil Farkas, DDS, Sheboygan, WI, for once thinking about a new type of dental adhesive before forgetting about it

9. Sue Lefkowitz, homemaker, Poughkeepsie, NY, for vowing on New Years Eve to lose her last 20 pregnancy pounds (she gained 6)

8. Alex Rodriguez, Yankees third baseman, NY, NY, for having the intention of one day hitting a home run in October

7. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, for almost being elected President of Iran, and then bringing "peace" to that country as President of Iran

6. Stanley Urquhart, assistant pipefitter, Des Moines, IA, for "seriously considering" legally changing his name to Jake "The Snake" Drake (pure unadulterated awesome!) and joining the Ultimate Fighting League, at least after he finally makes that brown belt that sensei has been holding back from him for a year

5. Charles Johnson, blogger, Santa Monica, CA, for "conspicuous heroism" in defending a little-trafficked website from fascists, neo-nazis, white supremacists, and other Enemies of the Blog

4. Myron Klepnitz, IT supervisor, Brooklyn, NY, for writing a chapter and a half and "copious notes" for his "vampire erotica" novel tentatively titled Suck

3. ACORN

2. Ace of Spades, blogger, whereabouts unknown, for posting by 11:30 am

...and the Number One Candidate who almost won a Nobel Prize...

1. One-tenth of an ounce of that stinky, sweaty, rancid-buttery grey fuzz that collects at the bottom of your belly-button and kind of scratches when you try to fish it out

My List Sucked: Eh. But here's something funny. DrewM just tweeted: "BREAKING: Obama named Motor Trend's Car of the Year!"

TP Carney, via Michael Goldfarb, is starting a campaign to write-in Obama for the Heisman Trophy.



digg this
posted by Ace at 11:54 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
mildly citrusy: ""There are fairly recent cases wherein 'good faith ..."

CN: "265 "Just re-reading Theodore Dalrymple's "Life at ..."

rhomboid: "Gun thread! Thanks MisHum. First one I haven't m ..."

Stringer Davis [/i]]/b]: ""Dixie Taint!" wbagnfarb. And a reminder, the CMP ..."

hogmartin: "[i]There is nothing new in those CMP rules. Same r ..."

The Barrel: "So hungry for cob-loggers. ..."

Stringer Davis [/i]]/b]: "There is nothing new in those CMP rules. Same regs ..."

[/b][/i][/s]Muldoon: " E-book or Paper - a limerick To read in your ..."

Hands: "They told me if Net Neutrality were struck down, t ..."

Slapweasel, (Cold1), ([b]T[/b]) [/i] [/b] [/u] [/s]: "*NOOD!* ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara [/i][/b][/s]: "[i]The prima donna behaviours on the side lines, h ..."

[/s]Hands: "test ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64