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October 06, 2009

Sure, Why Not: Wines Specially Crafted for Gay Men

Actually we already had those wines; we call them "white wines."

But seriously: Vinos for homos.

This wine (one of three) inspired by famous gay icon... um, Hadrian.

And Hadrian ordered that one thousand marble statues be built in his name.

Not that we’re trying to become the next Cesar, but we do share his admiration of beauty, pleasure, and love.

...

Look at the label, well-wrought, controlled, voluptuous…colossal.

Pour yourself a draught of liquid sensation; one that makes you stand up and notice each and every time you raise a glass to your lips.

When you try it, shut your eyes and imagine that you are licking rivulets of syrup from his body.

Open your eyes and savor the memory.

This is one of the potent sensual metaphors suggested by this unique wine. Or at least the one we enjoyed and hope to share with you.

A label that's well-wrought, controlled, and... colossal? Gee, I wonder what they're getting at.

Subtle.

Thanks for sharing your dick-wine with me, dude.

It... does have a familiar wang to it, doesn't it? The bouquet is flirty, with subtle notes of chocolate, peat, and jock-strap.

And, while we're doing dirty stuff: (Minor Content Warning) The boob scarf, a scarf which has boobies at its ends.

That last bit courtesy of Demure Thoughts.


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posted by Ace at 02:53 PM

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