David Letterman's Secret Sex Room, and Genuine, Nasty Hypocrisy
Shock: Letterman Apologizes to Wife, Milking Reality-Show Trainwreck for Every Last Nielsen Point

I skipped out on mentioning, as Verum Serum demonstrated, all of Letterman's supposed hypocrisy in skewering politicians caught up in sex scandals.

I skipped this for a few reasons:

First, I don't really think vanilla hypocrisy is the greatest sin. The Leftwing Media likes to treat hypocrisy as if it's worse than the actual sin itself, and they do so only as pretext to scream about Republican sex scandals while only whispering about Democratic ones. (Always failing to note the Democrat at the center of a sex scandal is a Democrat, of course, too.)

Second, it is, of course, his job to goof on this stuff.

Third, I'm guilty of the same type of hypocrisy, and so are many, but that hardly means I'm going to give up goofing on Larry "Wide Stance" Craig.

On the other hand: Check out this clip of Letterman with Dr. Phil, in which Letterman will not stop ragging on Sarah Palin (supposedly) for failing to talk to her daughter about birth control. (I say supposedly because Letterman is really just going after Sarah Palin for anything at all, and doesn't much care if his weapon of choice here is a 17 year old girl.)

Watch him immediately dismiss Dr. Phil's mention of the fact that Barack Obama's mother was 18 when she became (unexpectedly, I'd imagine) pregnant with him. "Well I've got no problem with 18!" Letterman "jokes."

But there's a deeper hypocrisy here.

Anyone who thinks the marriage-avoiding, commitment-phobic, young-staffer-banging intended to get his long-time live-in girlfriend pregnant out of wedlock, please raise you hands.

No one?

Okay, how about: Anyone who thinks this was an accidental pregnancy on Dave's part (but possibly a semi-deliberate or deliberate one on his long-time live-in non-wife girlfriend's part) raise your hand.

Did he not know that the pill sometimes doesn't work and it's always advisable to wear a condom even for back-up purposes? And that it's further advisable if you're refusing to give your long-time live-in girlfriend any sort of long-term commitment and that she might just one day decide to do something about that?

And, anyone who thinks Letterman jaw-boned his unofficial wife into getting an abortion -- which she refused -- keep your hands raised.

In fact -- how many people kinda-sorta suspect that Harry is not Letterman's first child, but instead, the first child he wasn't able to convince a girlfriend to "take care of"?

Ah... I see a lot more hands.

Did the 93-year-old David Letterman not know about birth control? Do they not sell Trojans in New York City?

Does Sarah Palin need to have "The Talk" with Letterman?

But here's this rotten old crank castigating a 17 year old for the same thing. Neither was married when these pregnancies occurred. Letterman only married this woman when his son -- technically a bastard by his choice -- was six. Maybe he should give Levi Johnston the same six years to see if he, too, will eventually get around to doing the right thing.

Now that's hypocrisy. But it's not the hypocrisy that's the worst thing here. It's just his transparent glee in trashing a 17 year old girl, and her mother too.

I begin to wonder about what a bad, bad parent Mother Letterman is for failing to instruct her elderly son at any point in his life about the consequences of unprotected sex.

What a whore that woman is, eh?

Affair Called Off Due to "Age Differences:" A second woman -- apparently an intern on the show -- says she slept with Letterman, "long before his marriage," but given Letterman's had a twenty-three year (IIRC) relationship with his live-in girlfriend, not apparently when he was actually single.

I see references to Holly Hester being either an "NYU student" or "NYU alum" at the time of the affair. Not sure which -- based on a credit as a staff producer for Married With Children in 1992, I imagine she was out of college... but just out of college when the 102-year-old sexual Gollum Letterman used his celebrity to use her.

It's not a crime or anything.

But one would think that an elderly lech would perhaps comprehend that young people sometimes act on chemical impulse, too.

Oh Dear: Treacher dug this up. A skit called, "Would you like to eat a sandwich in Dave's office?"

Oh Hell's yeah!, exclaimed nobody at all.

More Letterman: Claim from Audience Member That in Latest Show He Apologizes to Wife: Wow, it's really cool he's parlaying his bad behavior into a multi-week ratings goose.

Drew Carey, I think, was just on Conan's show and said "It must be tough for ratings for you when there's all that sex stuff going on on Letterman." ("No comment," said Conan.)

And so it is. People are tuning into Letterman for the reality-show spectacle of the man.

And he's milking that.

Obscured in this: He's not funny, and has not been funny for going on 15 years, and he's being rewarded for bad behavior.

Maybe Conan should sock his wife in the kidney for his own ratings goose.

posted by Ace at 03:58 PM

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