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June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson Dies; Now Confirmed by LAT and AP
Geraldo the Dick: Pills Were Involved

Pills? A commenter tells me that Geraldo says pills may have been/are involved.

This is sorta, um, nothing, at least for now. I don't think there is much doubt that Michael Jackson was taking pills. So pills are "involved" in the sense they're in his system.

Whether or not pills are actually the cause of death is very much in doubt. Geraldo's insinuation may or may not be correct, but he's such a garbage-eater that I have to imagine he heard something about "pills" and just rushed his non-scoop on to the air, vaguely insinuating much more of a story than he actually has.

I pretty much don't believe anything Geraldo Rivera says.

Earlier reports said he'd suffered a heart attack and wasn't breathing when EMT responded.

Now TMZ says he's dead.

Update: Commenters say the LA Times reports he's not dead, but in a coma.

Pop star Michael Jackson is in a coma and his family is arriving at his bedside, a law enforcement source told The Times.

I don't know if the LATimes is behind or TMZ jumped the gun on shaky confirmation.

No, He's Dead: LATimes has now updated. "Michael Jackson is Dead," their post is now headlined.

AP and LAT say he was pronounced dead 16 minutes ago, 3:15 Pacific, 6:15 Eastern.

He is survived by his three children, Prince Michael Jackson, "Blanket," and, um, I don't know his other kid's name. "Spatula," maybe. "Soup Tureen." Some other common household item, I'd imagine.

One of His Better Later Songs: To say Jackson peaked with Off the Wall or Thriller would be something of an understatement. Thriller was so enormous (virtually every song on it actually was a radio hit and charted), it's kinda unfair to expect any sort of repeat performance, either in terms of actual quality or commercial success.

Still: One can't help but notice that he merely failed to recapture the success of Thriller (a stone-cold impossibiility, to be fair), but in fact barely managed to make any decent songs at all after that.

So, to be nice, I'll note one of his few good post-Thriller songs. He did manage some good work here and there, amidst the overhyped, overproduced, underwhelming songs that were forced on us by his pull with MTV and radio stations.

I mean, that one with Eddie Murphy in the video? What the hell was that? Why was that song forced on me so much I know most of the lyrics despite hating it?

But okay, here's one of the good ones.

Oh, Lord: Not to be a dick, but you do realize the camera-loving LaToya Jackson is now going to be on cable news 24/7.

Peaked Even Earlier? Okay, some people argue that the Jackson 5 was better than Michael Jackson, solo, ever was.

I don't know about that. I only know a few of those old songs. "I Want You Back" is three minutes of recorded joyousness.

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posted by Ace at 04:46 PM

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