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June 22, 2009

Red on Red: "Yes I Can" Singer/Cretin Will.I.Am. (or His Manager/Subretard) Punches Celebrity Rumormonger/Imbecile Perez Hilton Right in His Big Fat Face

And... he Twittered the incident. Sounds very very whiny.

"I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."

"Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel."

"I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here."

"The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them."

"I am out of TP. Please call the police. My bum is dirty and I need to wipe it."

I may have added that last one.

Why on earth does he need readers to call the police? He doesn't. Obviously he has access to a phone.

So this is a publicity stunt -- not the punch, necessarily, but the "please call the police for me I need to whine to everyone on Twitter" part of it.

After the initial claims that Will.I.Am punched Hilton, Will.I.Am clarified that actually his manager "Polo" had hit him. And Perez Hilton agreed. I guess he initially claimed it was Will.I.Am. because he's more famous.

Will.I.Am says he and Hilton exchanged words. "So I go up to him and say, 'Hey, can you do me a favor, Perez?... Can you not be so blatantly rude to our group [the Black Eyed Peas] your website? That's just wrong - you don't have to be disrespectful,'" Will.I.Am said in his video statement. "He said, 'I don't respect you.' I was like, 'What? Ok, if you don't respect me that's cool.'

Will.I.Am then says Perez called him "a f**got" at which point "the fans get all crazy and start on Perez Hilton. I'm just sitting there minding my own business waiting for a car."

However, the entertainment website TMZ reported that the general manager of the Black Eyed Peas -- Polo Molina -- had turned himself in to Toronto police early Monday morning. Hilton corroborated this in his own video release Monday morning, saying that The Black Eyed Peas' manager "Polo clocked me right here [motioning to his black eye], and punched me two or three times."

An extremely emotional Hilton also addressed Will.I.am's video statement, saying "You know very well, and I know very well, and God knows that it was not a random fan that hit me."

Hilton did admit calling Will.I.Am a "f**got," saying it was the worse thing he could think of to call the singer at the time. He went further in his video statement, calling the singer "a f***ing coward," and adding he would have had more respect if he would have punched him in the face himself.

Yeah, me too. We have one pussy who has his manager punch people on his behalf and another sissy who insults a guy and calls him a "faggot" and then whines that he's gotten punched for it.

Thanks to Lord Raiden.

Update from Gabe: I just want to underline something. Whiny cockholster Perez Hilton tried to think of the worst thing to call Will.I.Am and he came up with "faggot." What. A. Fucking. Idiot.

Also, where can I send Molina a thank-you note on behalf of gay people everywhere?

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posted by Ace at 02:35 PM

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