Jessica Valenti Getting Hitched

With lots of feminist angst.

She answers her readers, who see her impending nuptials as possibly hypocritical.

On the issue of same sex marriage, frye886 says, "It seems to me a more powerful action by many couples would be to refuse to get married and publicly state the reasons why not."

Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could, and we think that's an understandable choice. Instead, we're trying use our impending marriage as a pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family, and being mindful of the inequity in every step our process. (For example, in our engagement announcement we asked anyone considering getting us a gift to instead donate to an organization fighting for same sex marriage rights; we're planning on saying something about it as part of our ceremony; and we've taken the advice of several commenters and will have donation cards to said orgs instead of favors.)

Several of you also got into it about dresses - whether the traditional white dress actually did signify "purity," etc. I'm kind of ambivalent about it, but I ended up getting a not-quite white dress (don't want to give too much away in case the boy is reading!) that I bought from a place where all the money goes to charity.

Everyone who believes that she was seriously considering delaying marriage until "everyone could," and believes she's looking at her wedding as a "pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family," rather than as Princess' Special Day, please raise your hand.

Your "hand," by the way, morons, is that paddle-like thingee at the end of your arm. You might know it better as your "finger-hoof."

It must be positively exhausting to have to pretend about caring so passionately about so much all the time.

Thanks to DrewM.

posted by Ace at 01:41 PM

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