Your Tender Ass Is Ravaging The Planet

Eco-freaks make us giggle.

The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

"This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous," said Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council.

The problem, it seems, is that it's hard to make really nice, soft TP from recycled material. You need to get 'virgin wood.'

The article does not differentiate the terms 'virgin wood' and 'virgin forest' but uses them interchangeably, which is misleading.

We're not converting ancient wild forests into butt wipe. Ancient wild forests are for furniture.

No, most of the wood used for paper in this country comes from farmed trees; quick-growing trees that are planted and raised specifically to become paper someday.

'Saving' these trees would be as wasteful and stupid as 'saving' a field of wheat.

As usual, The Grauniad never fails to get in a typical lefty jab.

"I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenom," [sic] said Hershkowitz. "People just don't understand that softness equals ecological destruction."

My emphasis. American Exceptionalism means something quite different to the Left, hmm?

posted by Laura. at 02:35 PM

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