Cosmetic Procedures Pick Up for Inauguration

My disgust for my fellow citizens knows no bounds:

"We have been absolutely swamped since the election with people desiring rejuvenation procedures for the upcoming inauguration," says Washington, D.C., cosmetic dermatologist Tina Alster.

"My normal load for cosmetic procedures has doubled, except for hyaluronic acid fillers — Perlane and Restylane — which have almost tripled," reports cosmetic and laser surgeon Hema Sundaram, who runs two offices in the Washington, D.C., area.

"My motivation is to look the very best I can for such a historical event. I've flown in to D.C. from California for this," says Lynch, who will attend the swearing-in ceremony as well as a black-tie ball with her husband.

Lynch says she stopped by Sundaram's office this weekend for cosmetic treatment, which included Botox and hyaluronic acid fillers.

I have no idea what a hyaluronic acid filler is. I do know that they should come with a lecture on frivolity.

Seriously guys, I'm looking for news that doesn't involve the inauguration, but there's not much out there. Gonna try the foreign papers next.

Late-breaking Update: DON'T THEY KNOW WE'RE ON THE BRINK OF A SECOND GREAT DEPRESSION?!?!

posted by Gabriel Malor at 12:20 PM

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