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December 07, 2008

It's all Fun & Games Until Someone Gets Their Fingers Chewed Off

Remember college? The binge drinking, the desperate attempts to convince attractive women to come back to your dorm room and disrobe, the Ramen Noodle/Pizza diet, and the late-night nerd debates down the hall in the den on vital topics of national interest like "Resolved: Battlestar Galactica would TOTALLY kick Hell out of the USS Enterprise"? Well now there's a new college pastime: Humans vs. Zombies.

From what I can tell, the "humans" identify themselves by wearing bandannas on their arms and carrying nerf dart guns, while the zombies wear bandannas on their foreheads. Humans can shoot/hit the zombies and stun them for 15 minutes while they make their getaway, but the only way a zombie can die is if they fail to feed on a human for 48 hours. Of course, they DO have a loophole: if a stronger zombie makes multiple kills, he/she can "share" their kills with other zombies to keep them viable. Apparently, the zombies had better legal representation than the humans had during the conception of this game.

Now I'm all for the general public taking precautions for the eventual zombie apocalypse, but this seems like a bad idea. For one, based on the picture accompanying the article, it looks like they're using the "fast zombies" model. Everyone knows that when the dead finally rise and walk the earth, it will be done slowly. This is just going to confuse people, and it will lead to human casualties when the shit finally hits the fan. Only steers & queers prefer "fast" zombies to the traditional model....and it doesn't appear that any of these fearless zombie slayers are sportin' horns, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.

My other problem with the game? Nerf guns. No wonder the zombies are only stunned for 15 minutes: You couldn't even stop zombie hamsters with a nerf gun. These guys need to AT LEAST move up to a Red Ryder BB gun. As my plumber likes to say, "Well, THERE'S where the problem is."


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posted by Russ from Winterset at 11:24 AM

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