Wounded SEAL Posts Note on Hospital-Room Door: Abandon All Hopelessness, Ye Who Enter Here | Main | Equal Time for Atheists
December 01, 2008

ABL Laser Test-Fired on Full Power

In related news, my dick is as determined to break free of my pants as B.A. Barackus imprisoned in a warehouse full of farm combines, arc-welders, and WWII-era sea-mines.*

Zapper-boffins at Boeing will now carry out further ground blasts, gradually extending the amount of time the beam is kept on. Provided that there's no bother with these, flight tests will be the next step - culminating with a shootdown of an actual intercontinental missile.

The ABL uses a large, chemically-fuelled laser in the rear half of its 747-400F freighter airframe. The beam generated here passes through management machinery in the forward half of the plane, and then through a swivelling turret in the nose which aims it at its target.

The laser plane is intended by the Missile Defence Agency to play its ray on the fuel-packed rocket stacks of enemy ICBMs as they boost upwards from enemy launch sites. Advocates of the programme suggest that this is a particularly good time to blast WMD-tipped missiles, as any tricky multiple warheads, decoys etc have had no time to come into play.

Critics, however, point out that a large fleet of extremely expensive jumbo-blasters would be required to maintain patrols within striking range of likely launch sites. Furthermore, any silo or pad located deep within a national interior would require the ABLs to intrude on hostile airspace, possibly precipitating the very attack they are designed to prevent.

On top of all that, the chemical fuelling requirements of the laser fleet would be a severe logistic problem, as the necessary stuff is highly corrosive and toxic - as are the waste products produced during firing.

Ah. Well we wouldn't want to produce corrosive and toxic waste products shooting down an ICBM.

Most of those have been certified as Green through the purchase of carbon offsets, you know.


* The A-Team faced villains dumber than Bond every week. Every week, they'd lock them in a storeroom and say to themselves, "There's nothing in there but a heavy bus, conveniently thick metal plates easily improvised into armor, welding torches, half-full propane tanks, flamethrowers in a state of low to mild disrepair, and the battering ram from a medieval siege engine. What trouble could they possibly make?"

Might have well just locked them up in the weapons locker.

Thanks to Arthur.


digg this
posted by Ace at 06:59 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
creeper: "Fen @ 349If that one doesn't bring tears to your e ..."

Anonymous White Male: ""General Kelly did a good job firing that dog". ..."

Brother Cavil, still here: "[i]Ah...I see Big Syrup{/b] has gotten to you. ..."

Zod: "This thread is about to go in a really bad, weird ..."

Insomniac: "322 306. Here's a better one. Cold Water, by Tom W ..."

Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet: "Trump might Tweet an attack on the protesting NFL ..."

creeper: "Pssst...he's not looking at the fan. ..."

Anna Puma (HQCaR): "It maybe sappy but nom nom nom it is delicious.And ..."

FenelonSpoke: "Adorable little boy with Spina Bifida walks for th ..."

NY Times: "309 Dogs. *sigh* One of the stories about the I ..."

SMH: "329 Oh...for fvck's sake! You're colored? What's t ..."

wrg500: "325 Ah...I see Big Syrup{/b] has gotten to you. ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64